Laugh and laugh and laugh until my face cramp and stomach hurt.

Too many funny things to type out, if not my blog become wordy again.

Darn, should have video-ed it down or taken some pictures.

Maybe that's how you guys fill your entries with photos, just take every minute of your moments right?

But that's not my style leh! HAHA!

I like to write more.

Anyway, here's to talk about my very difficult question I asked in my past entry.

What does it mean when you say someone is "not doing well"?

Honestly, I have no definite answer.

This term was supposed to be used out of concern from our pastors and leaders.

Sadly, this term became a label of judgment.

"Not doing well" has became so diversified in its meaning.

- Stagnant in CG/ministry, not rising up

- Maybe rising up but not coping, low capacity

- Progressing in church but struggling outside (PO, failing in studies, unnecessary persecution etc.)

- Getting discipled every single time, as a result running tired, running dry

- Having a certain stronghold, a struggle in his/her life

- Not planning or living life well, not disciplined enough

If just having one of these problems allows this person to be labelled as "not doing well", then I rather not be doing well.

Because "doing well" requires you to be perfect, and only God is.

I mean, don't everyone have at least one of these problems in their lives?

How many of you have at least one of these problems in your life, but you feel that you are experiencing a growing season at the same time?

The worst part of it all is that when people think you are "not doing well", their relationship with you ends there.

They start to talk to you in a different way, and friends seem to shun you and ignore you.

They start to limit you and say that you can't do this and that.

They start to trust you lesser. They start to leave you out or even strike you out.

They start to take sides against you and you will start to feel condemned.

Pastor How's sermon on the Roadmap of the Christian Journey reveals how our growth in God should always be going upwards.

I believe that even if our progress in our CG and ministry is stagnant, God is still growing us.

When I was still stagnant as a leader, Garrett shared with me: "God is growing you, you may not know it but He is."

Even if we are "not doing well", we are still going upwards with God.

When I was taken down from my CGL status in C Zone, transferred to E Zone as a normal member, struggled with a lot of problems, painstakingly rose up again pastorally and in ministry, eventually back to being a CGL now... I felt that I was always going upwards in my growth and relationship with God.

Even when I was a TL a year ago, I felt that I was a stronger leader than when I was a CGL back then.

Regardless of the titles and positions, God brought me through the Christian roadmap the same way He brought every single other Christian.

Though my route was unique and so was my purpose, I'm no different in going through the process.

I am still who I am.

Pastors still trusted and believed in me as who I am even after every single setback I faced in church and in life.

When I realised that, I knew that I walked straight into God's plans.

They may seem wrong in a lot of ways, but God had different and higher perspective.

Are your relationships and value in people based on whether they are "doing well"?
Do you trust people according to their character and substance, or just how "well" they are doing?

So what is "not doing well"?

Am I "doing well" or not?

I rather not answer, because I don't want anyone to judge themselves in this way any more.

Neither will I ever judge anyone using this term for how evil it has turned into.

Be specific. Be honest. Be real.

We are authentic and not plastic.