Project meeting was crazy until we all shared a cab home in the end.

Can't believe time pass so fast, we are finishing one module already.

Nowadays, months pass as if January was just yesterday.

Speaking of which, Val showed me her blog archives and I had a good laugh.

Last tiimex she tokk liddat wan worrsxz! OH MY TIAN! (I mean Yanzhen's tian)

Thank goodness she's no longer like that already.

LOL! I think she will really kill me now!

Crazy L4D outing with E20 today. Yes, with the girls too.

YAY! Now I have pictures to not make my entry too wordy.

E20 eating Tau Huay: Mark, Fabian, Derry, Gabriel, Tee Ang, Tommy, Kenneth (who couldn't wait to eat), Yan Rui, Zoe, Yan Zhen

Uncle trying to act like the witch in L4D.

After a night of killing zombies.

The only irritating part of the game was that it was run by Steam™ and it kept disconnecting.

Then we had to keep reconnecting. Some more we only played for 1 hour.

We've got to find a better LAN shop next time. With bigger space and more computers too. HAHA.

AND TOMMY IS THE WITCH SLAYER!

He kill witch like in 3 seconds on his own? SIAO.

Tommy you've got to teach me man!

And if you thought girls couldn't play LAN, you're very wrong.

Zoe and the Yan sisters totally owned. HAHA.

I guess LANing is no longer a guys thing any more. L4D has changed it.

Just that it has to be... zombies...

But I think I've overcome the phobia.

I STILL HATE IT WHEN THE HUNTER JUMPS ON ME FROM THE FRONT! OO:

That's about all. We'll definitely play again next time.

To end of this entry:

Acts 2:44-47

And that's how we're going to grow and breakthrough.

Simple. Genuine. Real. Authentic.

I told her I don't mind having it as a birthday present. :D

Siao lah, so flashy.

Laugh and laugh and laugh until my face cramp and stomach hurt.

Too many funny things to type out, if not my blog become wordy again.

Darn, should have video-ed it down or taken some pictures.

Maybe that's how you guys fill your entries with photos, just take every minute of your moments right?

But that's not my style leh! HAHA!

I like to write more.

Anyway, here's to talk about my very difficult question I asked in my past entry.

What does it mean when you say someone is "not doing well"?

Honestly, I have no definite answer.

This term was supposed to be used out of concern from our pastors and leaders.

Sadly, this term became a label of judgment.

"Not doing well" has became so diversified in its meaning.

- Stagnant in CG/ministry, not rising up

- Maybe rising up but not coping, low capacity

- Progressing in church but struggling outside (PO, failing in studies, unnecessary persecution etc.)

- Getting discipled every single time, as a result running tired, running dry

- Having a certain stronghold, a struggle in his/her life

- Not planning or living life well, not disciplined enough

If just having one of these problems allows this person to be labelled as "not doing well", then I rather not be doing well.

Because "doing well" requires you to be perfect, and only God is.

I mean, don't everyone have at least one of these problems in their lives?

How many of you have at least one of these problems in your life, but you feel that you are experiencing a growing season at the same time?

The worst part of it all is that when people think you are "not doing well", their relationship with you ends there.

They start to talk to you in a different way, and friends seem to shun you and ignore you.

They start to limit you and say that you can't do this and that.

They start to trust you lesser. They start to leave you out or even strike you out.

They start to take sides against you and you will start to feel condemned.

Pastor How's sermon on the Roadmap of the Christian Journey reveals how our growth in God should always be going upwards.

I believe that even if our progress in our CG and ministry is stagnant, God is still growing us.

When I was still stagnant as a leader, Garrett shared with me: "God is growing you, you may not know it but He is."

Even if we are "not doing well", we are still going upwards with God.

When I was taken down from my CGL status in C Zone, transferred to E Zone as a normal member, struggled with a lot of problems, painstakingly rose up again pastorally and in ministry, eventually back to being a CGL now... I felt that I was always going upwards in my growth and relationship with God.

Even when I was a TL a year ago, I felt that I was a stronger leader than when I was a CGL back then.

Regardless of the titles and positions, God brought me through the Christian roadmap the same way He brought every single other Christian.

Though my route was unique and so was my purpose, I'm no different in going through the process.

I am still who I am.

Pastors still trusted and believed in me as who I am even after every single setback I faced in church and in life.

When I realised that, I knew that I walked straight into God's plans.

They may seem wrong in a lot of ways, but God had different and higher perspective.

Are your relationships and value in people based on whether they are "doing well"?
Do you trust people according to their character and substance, or just how "well" they are doing?

So what is "not doing well"?

Am I "doing well" or not?

I rather not answer, because I don't want anyone to judge themselves in this way any more.

Neither will I ever judge anyone using this term for how evil it has turned into.

Be specific. Be honest. Be real.

We are authentic and not plastic.

Watching Man Utd bash Inter later, then swimming in the morning.

Anyway, Zoe told me that Weining said that our blogs were too wordy.

Thus I decided to just snap a candid pose of myself to make up for my flooding of words.

Went for project meeting with Val and Stella just now... (sort of...)

Well, I think Just Acia is a good place to dine. The set meals are reasonably cheap, and there's free flow of drinks and ice-cream.

Dhoby Ghaut is really the place to satisfy cravings...

Fried mars bars, crispy chicken, Just Acia, Nihon Mura, Rochor Tau Huay, Selegie Chicken Rice...

(From what I'm blogging about, I believe you can see how much we've done for our project just now... HAHA)

Val seemed like she wanted to kill me when I said I considered taking up a part-time job.

And she is telling the whole world the injustice she feels about my monthly allowance.

WAAAAAHHH now I'm judged for having rich parents lor!

Next time I don't help you pay your dinner first already! HAHA!

KIDDING! But you still owe me $5!

Or or I don't mind a treat from you next time! :DD

Tell you guys something funny.

While falling back onto the bed just now, I knocked the wall with the back of my head.

Damn pain lah! That was like 2 hours ago and it still hurts now.

I think there is a dent at the back of my skull, and I wonder if I got any brain damage.

I shall test myself to see if I've really got an amnesia by describing myself...

Okay everything seems fine...

Haha, maybe if I get a bit of brain damage or whatsoever from this, I can get a lower PES for army and sneak out with an 8-5 posting.

Jia Yang's dotA-ing like dog now. So much that he was asked to bathe three times already.

Pig sia he. LOL. 

He's using Tinker to own. Like really, I'm watching it now and it's damn gay.

Still having a lot of thoughts while the change is being processed...

I will then explain with a super power post.

I still remember the revelation about Gideon.

"Go in this might of yours, have I not sent you?"

Yes God, now I see it in a MUCH clearer picture. LOL.

Oh yes, I say yes. I will go. YES I WILL! :D

Okay I'm thirsty and I need a drink. Bye!

So here it goes.

Tags please!

Thanks Chek. :)

Passed my BTT and booked a date to take my FTT (25th March).

So many things happening in March can! Daidee day, FTT, Medical checkup...

Adding to the upcoming church events, it's going to be exciting.

Kia Picanto is so going to be my first car.

Small, simple and sweeeeeeeeeet... How I wish choosing a wife could be this easy.

Okay kidding.

Anyway, thanks to Zoe, now my CG is psycho-ed to play L4D.

The most ironing thing is, even the girls want to play.

Haha, I think it has really helped me overcome my phobia of zombies, but I still find it very disgusting.

Witches, hunters, smokers... Argh kill them all!

We're all going as a CG to play, most likely this Thursday... All are welcomed!

Charleston is so funny.

He called me just now from his office regarding some things, then his encik scold him in the background.

The encik never die before ah! Scold my senior zone leader! HAHA!

LOL.

It's just so amazing that we have leaders at our age going through life the same way we all do.

That's how they can relate to and understand us so much.

I still remember when I was back under Charleston, we used to do a lot of things together. Soccer, basketball, crazy stayovers, getting scolded by Ivan's ah ma...

LOL. Missed those times... and we've grown so much from there.

I look back and I still thank God for Pastors and HOGC having friends like Charleston and Ivan, what more being our role models.

Okay my dad is nagging at me now because he's fetching me to school but still has to fetch my mum from her church.

This means I have to go like NOW! ARGH!

I love my parents. Okay bye.

Love is like potential energy. It has to be converted into kinetic energy.

Some types of kinetic energy are affirmative words, quality time, acts of giving and most importantly, trust.

Out of these four, trust is the only thing that you can't fake.

People will never trust you if you will never trust others at all.

But when you do, the feeling is mutual and leveled.

If love grows the ministry, then trust is the most effective fertilizer.

Many times I grew tired serving God, but one thing that motivated me to go on was how much Pastors trusted me.

And if you were actually not that faithful at it, you feel the pinch of guilt from the inside...

Indeed, relationships are built on trust.

No wonder all these years though I didn't spend real quality time with Pastors like this, I could still feel that I am very connected to them.

Trust is earned by how much there is in your character and convictions, not plainly in your performance in ministry.

God trusts us to be His salt and light in the world, to be His testimony.

When we mess it up, does He wipe us out because He has stopped trusting us?

I am convinced that He'd rather be seen in bad light than take away our second chances.

Only when we are trusted, then we can grow faster. Amen?

Jesus trusted His disciples.

I believe that strengthened them to keep following Him despite all odds.

Trust, and you'll be trusted back.

The media once said that "it seems that the only thing Cristiano Ronaldo hasn't won in the last 12 months is the US election."

We can also say....

It seems that the only person who is not on Manchester City's shortlist is President Barack Obama.

Enjoy the laughter. :)

Many think that the only way to come to God is coming to church.

Many think that what they do in church determines their value in God.

Many think that how well they perform in church determines their growth in God.

I remember saying this line in my previous entry.

Don't get me wrong, church is important, ministry is important.

It's what you're doing for God. It's the church of God.

It's God's family. And it's God's ministry.

Ultimately, we don't want to hurt God nor hurt pastors. :)

But what is most important ultimately?

Being a good testimony for God.

With that I disagree with doing badly in our studies while we're doing 1001 things in church.

With that I disagree with being disconnected from our families because of church work.

With that I disagree with even neglecting some people IN CHURCH just because you get busier.

As much as I have done all three things, I am totally against it.

Because I know, if your life with God is right, you will never have such problems.

You can be busy doing church things, but not to all these extents.

You can be doing well and growing in your ministry, but neglecting other things in life which are as important.

Often, your busy-ness in church doesn't really reflect your relationship with God.

How high you go in church doesn't really reflect how high you are growing in God.

Yes, rise up as much as you are inspired and convicted to be.

Yes, let's bear the burden of our pastors and leaders...

But take note, even they wouldn't want our lives to fall in this trap...

The key to staying right is just to do what God would want you to do in every situation.

Stay connected.

Well I must say, E20 has never been better.

Was great to see you again... See you this Tuesday for CG!

Then it's see you again after 2 weeks! Haha! Have a nice trip!

Sometimes people confuse unusual acts of faith with unnecessary acts of uncertainty.

Sometimes people are just overdoing things.

Sometimes people are just too uptight.

That's when they throw every good card they have on their hand just to win that turn.

However, they lose the entire game in the end.

Listen, you have a good hand. You always will have and you know why.

It's about showing the right cards at the right turn/time to win the game.

That's the whole point, isn't it? Losing some battles to win the actual war.

Let go and let God.

When we are down to nothing, God is up to something.

God knows the hand you are holding. God knows it's a good hand.

God CHOSE your hand.

Losing a few turns to them wouldn't hurt, because you know you'll still win.

Stubbornly win this round and you throw the whole game.

Judgmental christians would probably be stumbled by this entry because I used cards to illustrate christian leadership.

Heck them lah, haha.

I just read the jokes column and it's funny as Keegan's fart! (oops did I just said that?)

Here are just some!

Boss: Where were you born?
Sardar: India ..
Boss: which part?
Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India .

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more.

Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Sardar: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

Without You - Hinder

No I'm not emo. I just saw this video on MTV and I thought it was a nice song.

I especially love the guitar parts! LOL.

The story in the video is also really meaningful and got me thinking...

Was it really worth it all these years looking back, and seeing where I am now?

I still think, yes.

I've never regretted with God, never did and never will.

God has never disappointed me nor let me down in any situation.

All things work out for good to those who love Him.

Haha, I believe I'm not referring to God but to a few people and things.

Am I? Haha I don't know.

Anyway, I'm excited for this weekend!

I heard that many people are coming back, people like Jeannette and Ryan.

E20, keep me updated with good new ok? :D

Whooooooo praise God!

Thursday shopping, anyone? HAHA.

To think, it's hard to grow in favour with men when you're Jesus.

Imagine yourself going around telling people, "I am the Christ, the Son of the Living God."

More people will give you the fist than the favour.

It's the same when you try to share about God to your friends.

"Jesus? I'm not interested..."

"God speaks to you? I don't know but I think you're weird..."

"If God is real, then why..."

Not easy, huh? Understood.

But don't see evangelism as something weird and irritating.

Christianity is attractive.

Sometimes we find it hard to be a Christian when we're with your friends.

Look to Jesus, He was being God with His, and still the Bible says He had favour with them.

How? His love for people... that when He saw the lost, He was moved with compassion as they were like sheep having no shepherd (Matthew 9:36).

Our relationship with God might appear spooky to some people.

Most people will avoid weird and spooky stuff, and they will prefer to stay logical and real.

But we know God isn't weird, and so aren't we.

The key to still have favour with our families and friends is simply love.

Favour is not an authority. Favour comes only on one condition: When there is love.

You will have favour with anyone if you're willing to love.

And it's so easy to lose the whole chain when one level isn't present.

Or when we try to rush in without following the order.

Isn't it sad when relationships end like that?

Forget arguments. Forget explaining why God is real even when bla bla bla.

Focus on what everyone needs. LOVE!

Which step are you at now?

Don't break it. Don't rush it.

Or you'll have to start over.

But well, don't give up. :)

I will always remember this said by Pastor How. :)

1 Corinthians 1:26-30

God is glorified.

I still know what I am doing.

PGSM rocks! It's cool to have church mates as your classmates.

I really enjoyed myself. Can't wait for the next lesson!

During our Entrepreneurship class, we were asked to do a questionnaire before the lecturer went on with her lesson.

It was interesting, but question 7 got me fired up to really give a good answer.

I was so moved to answer this and I felt quite good after penning it down.

Take Windows Vista for example. It's full of problems, but Microsoft never solves them. Instead, they keep coming up with new ideas and products, hoping that customers will get their minds off those problems.

As an ex-Windows user, I have been screaming "FIX THEM FOR GOODNESS SAKES!" and I believe I scream on behalf of many Windows users. No wonder I switched to Mac.

Back to topic, I believe next time in my business, I will not make such mistakes when problems arise.

How about in leadership?

When there are problems within your CG or team, how do you solve them?

Do you confront and engage the problem to get rid of it and overcome it?

Or do you push for more new friends to hype your people about the increase in attendance so that they can get their minds of the problems?

If the latter, for how long before the problem surfaces again?

I rather be a problem solver than someone who just brings hype and excitement.

If I say I am a strong leader, I will build a strong CG where no problem persists.

Pastor How says that he rather has a STRONG church than a BIG church.

Of course, we can have both... But we prefer strength.

If I can't have both at the moment, I want to build a STRONG CG.

E20 will be a STRONG CG, amen!?

Many leaders aim to have the fastest growing CG.

I aim to have a CG where we have the least people who backslides.

No one should backslide. Because every problem can be resolved.

I aim in 2009, NO ONE will backslide from E20.

It is so possible.

All things are possible with God.

I guess I'll really be an entrepreneur besides just being a pastor.

I long to be so different. Haha.

I was on MSN for about an hour or so chatting with the Yan sisters and Zoe, while playing Pet Society when I just dozed off on my very comfortable pillow. That was at 1am.

Now it's almost half past 4.

Well done Gabriel, so what are you going to do now?

Maybe God was just helping me adjust back my body clock. LOL.

Can't wait for school. Monday! :D

Excitinggggggggggggggggg.

Anyway, loved today. Sermon rocked, and I am clearer of where my red dot is and where I need to go.

Yan Zhen brought Jing Xian today and she's just as crappy as Yan Zhen. Okay let's hope she doesn't read my blog so soon so that she won't see this entry. HAHA.

I'm getting concerned that the girls are increasing in the CG. Are they planning a take over?

*Gasp* NEVERRRR. Miaow Guan, we will fight and bring more guy friends! HAHA!

Sigh... thoughts... thoughts... thoughts...

It's under my control :)

I am God-dependent.

I simply love my CG.

Let me choose between E20 and tickets to Old Trafford, I will still choose E20.

Love you guys loads.

I'm sure I'll miss all of you when my enlistment comes.