The Reality Dream

moved

2009-08-22T03:21:00.001+08:00

http://leesweekeat.tumblr.com/

faith

2009-08-05T00:59:00.002+08:00

Targets for NAPFA (minimum)

Sit Ups - 34 (C)

SBJ - 225 (C)

S&R - 30 (D) THIS IS EASY LAH!

Chin Ups - 5 (D)

Shuttle Run - 10.6s (C)

2.4km - 12:20 (D) People will feel like whacking me for aiming only this...

3C + 3D = 9 + 6 = 15 points (SILVER - Minimum of D for every station)

Here I come.

won't back down

2009-08-04T05:41:00.004+08:00

Philippians 2:12-18 (NLT)

12 Dear friends, you always followed my instructions when I was with you. And now that I am away, it is even more important. Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear.

13 For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.

14 Do everything without complaining and arguing,

15 so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people.

16 Hold firmly to the word of life; then, on the day of Christ’s return, I will be proud that I did not run the race in vain and that my work was not useless.

17 But I will rejoice even if I lose my life, pouring it out like a liquid offering to God, just like your faithful service is an offering to God. And I want all of you to share that joy.

18 Yes, you should rejoice, and I will share your joy.

hope?

2009-08-03T17:26:00.005+08:00

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

wonder why

2009-08-02T01:23:00.004+08:00

I'm going to start the momentum of blogging again, so these entries you've been reading are my small starts. Hehe!

So hey yo, recently I've been starting to exercise! What for? Train myself up to get a Silver for my NAPFA, so that I can enlist a month or so later instead of September 14th.

Reason? Buying more time! Here are the top five things I want to do before I enlist (which is if I can push the date back!) :-

1. Grow and build the CG! Raise more leaders, build every one stronger in the Lord and more connected to pastors! (And E8 say amen!? :D )

2. Finish many Follow-Ups and even start (and finish) new ones! Currently undergoing three and planning (envisioning) to do more! (And hopefully train up people to do Follow-Ups too!)

3. Hang out with Jia Yang again when he POPs, and both of us have free time before he gets his posting. Looking forward to this a lot.

4. Celebrate a couple of birthdays in September, including Charleston's!! Hopefully in early October, even Jamie's!! And Ryan's!

5. Prepare for a better start in army, so as to be a greater testimony of God in there. Shining His light and glorifying Him! :)

Yup! These are my motivations. Maybe more will come along the way. But every time I think of these above, I feel the need to train for that Silver even more. Not pressured, but rather energized and inspired. LOL.

So if you're wondering why I have been quite worried (rah quite an understatement haha) the past many weeks, it's because my only problem now is time. HAHA. The good news is, I've broken free from worrying and I'm as faith-filled as ever.

Matthew 6:25-34

25 “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?

26 Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?

27 Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?

28 “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin;

29 and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

30 Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
31 “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’

32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.

33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Small amount of time yes, but it's good that I feel small about it. Cos it's time to grow bigger! God doesn't live in time, and He sees that it's definitely possible if I trust Him and go forth to conquer it.

It's easy to put God first, but trusting Him is a whole different thing. God has to remind us 9 times out of 10 in that passage about not worrying. He knows which is harder to do.

But trust is powerful. Trust empowers. When you tell someone you trust him/her, it boosts that person's faith, confidence, self-esteem and everything else. How much more so if we trust GOD? No wonder God says that faith pleases Him.

Yup that summarizes my life this season. Keep me in your prayers if you can! I really need my Silver. Thank you! :)

good

2009-08-01T00:25:00.007+08:00

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." - Romans 8:28

All things include the good, the bad, the ugly, the handsome, the rich, the poor, the stupid, the smart, the perfect, the ridiculous (...), the worrying, the lovely, the irritating...

But ALL of such things, regardless of what they are, work together to become GOOD to you who love God, to you who have a life and destiny that God has planned from the beginning.

All things cannot be good.

But all things can become good. Now that's possible.

All things are possible, nothing is impossible with God.

When you have God, you can do all things, nothing will be impossible for you.

That's why I'm Mr. Impossible. HAHA!

Nonsense.

But Lord, I'm Yours tonight. So are they :)

Thank you E8. Thank you Jia Yang.

overwhelmed

2009-07-26T21:15:00.006+08:00

Could it be

You're in control

Now I see

I don't know it all

Usually I blog only when I have inspiration.

Well, today's unusual.

I don't feel like blogging yet I do.

I feel I need to. Here goes.

I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it on my own.

God, HELP ME x 2301723092183839289012830982938910283028391283012830.

That's basically everything on my mind right now.

All for an entry. Thanks and goodbye.

How did I freakin' forget.

faith-filled at four (am)

2009-07-22T04:10:00.002+08:00

Broken. Broken. Breakthrough.

It's time. It's finally time.

relationships

2009-07-21T07:18:00.004+08:00

Trust is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.

A female telephone operator received a phone call one day. She answered, 'Public Utilities Board.' There was silence. She repeated, 'PUB.' There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she heard a lady's voice, 'Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is.'

Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just 'hello' instead of 'PUB'.

Relationships are built on trust...

... MORE THAN anything else. Time, energy, traditions, outings blah blah blah...

My inspiration ran dry as I was blogging, but this was all that was left to say. Haha.

I'm here for you.

Yes, you, you and you.

love

2009-06-23T04:53:00.011+08:00

Ages since I blogged! So many have happened. Before I go into the long list of things that has happened, I need to say this.

I think as I keep walking this journey with God, I just realise that there is still so much to understand. It's ironic how we know things around us are complicated, yet we still look for the easy way out of everything. And then we ask: "Why can't people/things just be simple?"

1 Corinthians 13:2 (NLT)
If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing.

So what if we are leaders? Even if we have the authority to speak into people's lives, even if we have empathy and perfect understanding of their situation, even if we have earned their trust and total respect... What gain is there if we spare them of the love that requires much of us?

To burst the damn bubble, there is no shortcut in love. Love suffers long (1 Corinthians 13:4), and it bears, believes, hopes and endures all things (1 Corinthians 13:7). So, we can talk about how much we love people. But think about it, when we tell someone we love them, do they feel that we are patient with them? Do they feel that we are bearing their burdens and issues with them? Do they really know that we believe in them? Do we see hope in them? Are they assured that they are strong enough to last this tough time?

Pastor How once told us that this ministry is grown by love, not people work. If people's problems, burdens, issues in life are seen as work, then people will never grow. Love is the essential factor for growth. Without love, no ministry can grow, let alone pastoral. Without love, E8 would never have grown from 5 to 10, from 10 to 20, and soon from 20 to 40, and to 60. :)

As a leader, what more a CGL, I want to love. I think I'm more excited about bringing God's love to people more than being able to disciple them, pray over them and say something powerful to impact their lives... I believe people are more impacted and touched when they feel God's love, and what more from their leaders. I would rather be known as a caring and approachable friend more than a firm leader. I'd compromise that strong front anytime.

Well that's me. This is something about me that will never change when I rise up and grow from a leader of 20 to a leader of 60, or when I get promoted from CGL to SCGL or ZM... Regardless of number or title, I will always be who I am. I never want to be too 'leader-ish' that people dare not be too honest and transparent with me about their lives. I never want to be distant from people I'm leading, in fact, I want to be so close to them and be able to connect them to God and pastors too.

Besides, I remember how it was pastors who loved us first before they spoke into our lives. If pastors did that, how different can it be for us?

Relationships. That's what is still all about, isn't it? Even with God it is. What else can it be with people?

Yes, life isn't that simple, but love is. Why do people chase after the oh-so-powerful gifts and mysteries, when the greatest gift of love is something all of us can possess and pass on regardless of spiritual level?

Love. It's the greatest thing you can ever do.

God is Love. It's the greatest relationship you can ever have.

Ps. I'll do that long list in my next entry. HAHA! :P

kenneth

2009-06-04T08:56:00.003+08:00

HAHA SEXYYYYYYY! :P

This is Kenneth from E8, serving in Photography and Usher, studying in Simei ITE in his second year now. He is currently in our church's AMT(A) as I type this, and he's in for a big surprise when it's over. :)

I am so proud of him, and this entry is about how proud I am of him. LOL! After all that he has been through in his past, being looked down on in his family and outcasted in school just because he seemed too playful and immature of his age, which is what many people would call "weird".

Kenneth had a hard time gaining acceptance and favour from others even when he came to church. BUT God is faithful. As Kenneth was always faithful and humble towards God and his pastors and leaders, he has always welcomed discipleship and correction even at times when he doesn't feel like it, especially when he was going through some hard times with his family. Kenneth never fails to step back and evaluate himself from every experience he has!

Thus, God sees Kenneth's attitude. Even while he's on attachment now which takes up a lot of his time for church, it didn't take up his hunger for more of God in his life. Aside from just coming for services every week, he would read books and listen to sermons from CHC website and other pastors like Joel Osteen. Although he isn't progressing as much in his ministries right as of now, he is definitely growing tremendously in God while He is moulding and changing his character for the better!

The real test came when last weekend, he received an SMS that he has been selected to go for AMT(A)! He came to me with mixed feelings of excitement and stress. He was quite anxious about how he had to take leave for two days from his work, while he had three projects at hand and an unreasonable boss. However, he came up with a solution: OT on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday to complete the projects as much as possible, so that when he takes leave on both Thursday and Friday for AMT(A), neither his boss nor his colleagues have much to say about taking leave for church stuff! I'm really happy to say that he has done that and is now at AMT(A)!

I believe God will use him more mightily more than in church, but in his family and his school, to be a great testimony so that people will know how good God is! I see Kenneth one day being a great leader in church, both in ops and pastoral side. Weird? Not anymore. :)

1 Corinthians 1:26-31

favour

2009-05-30T06:02:00.006+08:00

It's tough being a leader.

I'll be straightforward for once. Or rather, for a few times... Or maybe, this is one of the many times... BAH! I AM going to be straightforward! HAHA!

Well nothing to be angry about, or no one to flame at, but I just want to tell you how stressed out and tough it is to be a leader. I have never felt this way for very long. I have never expected myself to face so many problems. I have never thought that it'll be this hard. Maybe, it was easier when the CG was small, but now, I can't deny that we're no longer small and new any more. :)

I used to think that the most important thing as a leader that most lack, or even as a strong and on-fire christian, is favour with men. Many do not have, but those who do go far in their walk with God, especially in the area of their leadership. Yes, everything rises and falls on leadership, but it seemed like the foundation of that leadership was mostly authority rather than influence.

Leadership IS influence, NOT authority, and as I grew as a new leader (again), I always kept that in my heart, and determined that I shall always lead people by my influence more than my authority. That's what my pastors do. That's why in Heart of God church, there's true freedom, and we never go further than education and empowerment. That's why I love my pastors, and I knew that's the same kind of favour I need among people in order to be influential.

However, I realised it's more than just favour that we need as we grow as christian leaders.

1) More than just favour, we need RESPECT.

"We cannot please everyone. Therefore I don't want everybody to like me, but rather I want everybody to respect me." These were the powerful words of my pastor when he talked about how we should please God and serve man, not the other way round.

Respect, and nothing less. I hate it when people are disrespected; I hate it when I see someone seen lesser than they should be seen in any way. I don't care who you are, but I am who I am too, and you'd better not push me around. That's the kind of convictions and character that we need to have. I AM WHO I AM. When you're confident and secure in who you are, people will respect you even if they don't like you. Insecurity may get people's attention and even their favour, but it never makes you respectable in the end.

2) More than just favour, we need TRUST.

A great leader once said that relationships are built on trust. How true is that! No relationship can last without trust, whether is it with family, friends, or even your spouse. If you won't trust me, I won't know you. I can never have any kind of relationship with you, or needless to say, even influence you.

There are people who trust too easily, and many say it's bad thing. Well, I'm one of those people, and I don't see it that way. I'd rather trust and believe in people who may not be that trustworthy, and letting myself be vulnerable to feeling hurt or disappointed, than never giving people a chance. I always believe in the people in E8, because I see each and every one of their potential, and I know God has a great plan for every individual life. That's where my trust comes from. It is trust that releases faith in someone, knowing that he or she is being believed in and supported. It is trust that my pastors and leaders had with me, that brought me to where I am today. It is trust from people, that probably you are where you are today. Trust God, trust pastors, your leaders, your CG, and damn it, believe in them like how they do in you!

3) More than just favour, we need SUPPORT.

"Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account. Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you." (Hebrews 13:17)

Let your leaders lead you with joy, and not with grief. I am always very touched when my leaders tell me that I'm a joy to lead, very much because of my revelation of this verse. Yes, share the burden of your leaders and support them, and not be the burden. One thing I never want to be to my pastors and leaders right now is a burden to them.

As we experience this season in life, and grow to a new level in God, change is necessary. Personally for me, I used to think favour is important. However, it's not as important whether you like me now, as it is to whether you respect, trust and even want to support me as your leader. E8, we are growing, we are moving on, and we are breaking through to greater heights in God. I NEED people who can not only respect me, believe in me or even share the burden with me, but also do the same for my pastors and leaders, because ultimately, I'm doing it for them. I respect them, I trust them, and I'd always want to be there to serve and support them.

It's tough being a leader, but this is the reason why I hold on. This is the reason why my goal for the next 60 days is to live a lifestyle of discipline and productivity. Leadership has grown me, and I will always take this path, but I can never do this alone. Pastors could never run a church of over a thousand people alone, and they needed a few hundred leaders.

We NEED your respect, your trust and your support, and I just pray and hope that people in the CG will be willing to make sacrifices and commitments the same way my pastors and leaders did to build this great church. Arise and build, because the harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few... (Matthew 9:37)

It's about others.

communication

2009-05-27T15:30:00.003+08:00

The light gets brighter and brighter each day. :)

E8's blog is up! It's at eHuat.bs and it's alive and active with updates and pictures!

Really love E8 to bits. They're growing so much and I'm just so proud of each and every one of them; God is moving and things are happening in the CG as they stay faithful to what they're doing for God. Keep going guys!

Pastors have always told us: New levels, new devils. Every time we reach another level in God and in life, we face a new set of obstacles which are mostly harder. It's like every other computer games where the difficulty increases by each level. I guess that's what I'm facing now in terms of handling stress and tiredness, and I'm glad to say I'm coping quite well. I'll overcome it!

I'm just happy that more than drawing closer to God, I'm drawing closer to my leaders and people in church again. If you're wondering what's with the countdown to the 60 days, I've actually set a goal to achieve in 2 months (which ends this week!) to be more connected and transparent to my pastors and leaders again. It's a long story how I got quite disconnected a while, but I wanted so much to get back in flow with my pastors and the rest of the church.

Hebrews 13:17

Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account. Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you.

I think all of us want to be led by our leaders with joy and not with grief. I think every leader is happy whenever their member is transparent and honest towards them about their thoughts and feelings. Garrett and Jamie were delighted when I took the first step to share with them how I thought and felt, even though certain things might not have been very pleasant towards them. Ever since then, I was so encouraged to be more and more transparent towards them!

Communication, that's what it's about. I'm glad that communication is good in my life right now, with my leaders, with my friends, my family, and last but not least, with my CG members. The same way my leaders felt very happy when I opened up to them, the same way I feel happy whenever any one in E8 shares with me their honest thoughts and feelings, and what they're going through in their lives.

Yes E8, it comforts me to hear from you guys, be it good news or bad. Let's keep this as we grow! If there's one wish I can have which might sound impossible, is that I can still be this close to each and every one of you when we grow to 50 or 60 people... But even if that happens, the least I want to have is that we can still communicate and be open to one another. You guys hold a huge place in my heart and my life. :)

I thank God for actually hearing my personal, casually-mentioned 60-day-goal and taking it seriously. Well, it's time to think for a new one. I wonder...

Keep believing. Keep praying. God is moving in all our lives.

Keep growing. :)

stunned

2009-05-25T01:10:00.002+08:00

Thank you Garrett, Jamie, Quek, Wendy and Adri.

For the beef hor fun. For just dropping by.

Even though you guys have to wake up early the next day for many things.

School, work, bible school, test... My goodness.

And and even though we're all tired from the hectic weekend with Red Rain.

Honestly for the first time after so long, I'm feeling touched.

I really don't know how to respond. Haha. Yeah.

52nd day

2009-05-23T08:10:00.002+08:00

Each day draws me closer...

I had a great breakfast with Garrett yesterday. So happy, I've never had such a time with him like this.

I never got to really hear from him first hand about his thoughts and perspective.

This talk really lifted up my level of thinking. Thank you Garrett!

I've never seen it in such a way before. Believing in people...

Believing in people because you want to see them successful.

Believing in people not just to protect them from judgements, but build them to be blameless before men.

Believing in people not just to build those under you, but also alongside and even above you...

God believes in us... Our pastors and leaders believe in all of us.

I thank God for Pastor How and Pastor Lia who has always believed in me.

And I want to show my gratitude in believing in others the same way.

Pastor How said before that their dream was for our dreams to come to pass.

Wow! Because pastors made our dreams come to pass, we made theirs come to pass as well.

Because pastors built our dreams, we are in turn building theirs.

The world is full of people who build their dreams at the expense of people.

We build not just people, but even people's dreams, at the expense of ours...

The world is full of people who just want to be kings of the world.

We would rather be king makers than kings...

Let's build the dreams of others, even if it's at the expense of ours...

Let's build the dream of our pastors to raise up generations who would give their best years to God...

Let's build the dreams of the people around us and help them to reach where they need to go...

Let's build the dreams of the people who are even outside the four walls of this church...

Let's build the dreams of God and others, and He will build ours.

moment

2009-05-21T07:37:00.002+08:00

I will remember yesterday as the day...

10 days from the 60 day goal.

It's always the darkest before dawn. It WAS the darkest.

I now see the light at the end of this tunnel.

I forgive. I forgive. All of them.

Because He first forgave me.

Freedom at last.

renounced

2009-05-20T08:08:00.000+08:00

No more.

I'm Yours. :)

Once again, I see Your Spirit move.

reminder

2009-05-14T15:25:00.006+08:00

Fell asleep while studying which got nothing much into my brain.

Well done Gabriel, it's 3pm. HAHAHA.

I need to blog badly.

Just a precaution. This entry is going to be ugly.

I'm just angry. Okay, angry is an understatement.

I'm annoyed, agitated, aggravated, angered and anything similar you can find in the thesaurus.

I haven't felt this way for a pretty long time.

Just a few days ago, one of the members of E8 got disrespected and looked down on.

Without hesitating, a shepherd has to protect, and so I went full force on doing that.

It felt so good after doing so, but as moments passed I felt even more burdened and irritated.

Basically, I hate it when people gets disrespected.

I hate it when people are treated less than how they deserve to be.

I hate it when people are looked down on just because of how different they are.

What more, when they're in E8. I'll tell you why.

1 Corinthians 1:26-31

26 For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called.

27 But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty;

28 and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are,

29 that no flesh should glory in His presence.

30 But of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God—and righteousness and sanctification and redemption—

31 that, as it is written, "He who glories, let him glory in the LORD."

This is the revelation I got as a new CGL, and what I will keep as I grow in leadership.

I am seriously turned off by the remarks people give.

"This person is not ready..." And why?

"Not doing well."

"Not flowing enough."

"Needs to learn how to carry him/herself well."

"Needs to learn how to live his/her life first."

"Hasn't caught the heart." (Then isn't this an opportunity for him/her to?)

"Too emo." (Wonder why)

"... just weird lah." (Classic)

I dare to testify that I have a bit of every issue above. AND I AM A CGL.

I'm not talking about titles. I'm talking about how imperfect people can rise up to their call in God.

Does it mean that only the people "doing well" can be leaders?

Does it mean that people who aren't really connected shouldn't be given opportunities?

Does it mean that people who seem less mature cannot do greater things for God?

Does it mean that people who are WEIRD cannot learn to be LESS WEIRD?

If someone needs to be more disciplined, do we just tell him/her off about it...

Or do we give him/her opportunities to be more organized and responsible?

If someone needs to have a better image, do we just tell him/her off about it...

Or do we give him/her opportunities to change and learn how to carry themselves better?

If someone needs to be less emotionally led, do we just tell him/her off about it...

Or do we give him/her opportunities to control their feelings?

If someone needs to catch the heart, do we just tell him/her off about it...

Or do we give him/her opportunities to be able to do so?

If someone needs to flow more, do we just tell him/her off about it...

Or do we give him/her opportunities to be more aligned and connected?

What happened to having faith and believing in people?

What happened to the 7 things we hated about Christianity?

What happened to faith and 4th dimension?

What happened to defining, confining and refining?

I'm not relaxing. Don't tell me to unless you can answer ANY of those questions above.

Can you?

I wasn't flowing in the past, I was quite disconnected. I was never "doing well".

I had problems carrying myself well and had a bad self-image or personal grooming.

I had problems having discipline and living my life.

I didn't catch the heart for a while. I was rather emotionally led.

I was rather self-absorbed in my own world and yes, I was WEIRD.

One difference. My pastors and leaders believed in me.

So why can't you people do the same for the rest who have similar problems?

Honestly, didn't you have some of such problems before you rose up to do what you do today?

Do you think you would if no one believed in you?

I thank God for my pastors and leaders.

I thank them for believing in me all the way. Because I will never be here today if not for them.

Stop disrespecting.

Stop stereotyping.

Stop judging.

Stop limiting.

Stop looking down on them.

slackkk

2009-05-11T10:38:00.003+08:00

Just came back from Serangoon Macs! Was having breakfast with Chekzzzzzzzzz! :D

Free today.
Probably spending the rest of my day behind my mac screen before school.
Plan plan plan! If you fail to plan, you plan to fail! :D
Schedules, outings, surprises etc. HEHE!

Okay I better get started before time hunts me down for it.

Even if I can escape time, I can't escape the hunter. Haha. Okay kidding.

Hunter, boomer, smoker, tank, witch? Yeah yeah think along those lines. HAHA!

Success! I was trying to make you lose that thought pattern you were having =P.

I am irritating. And most of the time, I love it. :)

stand

2009-05-10T08:41:00.001+08:00

"You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life." - Winston Churchill

others

2009-05-09T23:36:00.003+08:00

In Singapore, being busy is the norm for almost all ages.

Well, it's no different in Heart of God Church.

The difference is, we enjoy what we are busy with.

Because our business (busy-ness) is about God and about others, not ourselves.

Yeah! And we love seeing other people being happy and touched with love.

So just a thought... What are you busy with?

Are you busy with the things that matter most to you?

Or are you busy with the things that matter more to other people?

We do because we love because we were loved because we once weren't.

What is important to you is important to us...

whoo

2009-05-09T08:29:00.002+08:00

Oh yes and anyway, love is merciful (:
so chill out guys. have mercy.
that is the ultimate statement of victory and honor.
When Jesus had mercy, man.... everything just stood still

Ivan, you rock man. Haha. This spoke to me a lot. Thanks. :)

And yes, be merciful to people who have yet to learn what Love is all about.

Because even we haven't fully understood yet. We never will.

"Stand. Don't care what others say."

Whoo! Never forget. Thanks Ivan.

secure

2009-05-06T03:37:00.003+08:00

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Saw this line in Best Mean Friend's blog and I immediately responded with three amens.

I'm tired of being misunderstood. I'm tired of being judged and stereotyped.

Nah. I shall not whine about the past, but I believe I speak on behalf of many people.

It's not so bad when people expose you of your weakness...

It's only when they link you to another from there and stereotype you.

It's scary how someone simply feeling misunderstood can become an insecure person without convictions.

That's judgement and stereotyping for you.

But I choose to care less about the remarks of others and more about those of God.

Yeah, because only God understands each and every one of us best.

Right or wrong, good or bad, God loves us unconditionally and equally.

God loves us in a way man can never do.

Yes! Recently I feel more on top of things because I'm no long affected by other things.

I know my strengths and I know my weaknesses. I know myself. I am secure.

I don't care what others think of me any more. I still love them and I won't bear grudges or bitterness...

... In fact, I would still hang out with them at times, or even work with them.

They just won't be my closest friends, that's all?

Well yeah, I know who I am.

I am just like any other ordinary person doing the will of God...

I am just like any other ordinary person who has issues and difficulties in life...

I am just like any other ordinary person who has needs that only God can meet...

I am just like you, for goodness sake...

I am who I am, and I will walk on with God no matter what people say.

if not for love

2009-05-04T08:23:00.005+08:00

Any typical parent in this world would have a few disagreements with their government's way of running things, but choose to accept it for the sake of raising their kids. Somehow, I feel like that parent on many occasions and situations. Hehe.

Anyway, I had a great day yesterday. Stayed back with E8 to finish the card for Pst Lia, then headed down to the west on our secret mission, only to know our secret wasn't very well kept. HAHA. Argh! We've got to work on our surprises! But at least we managed to make Yan Hui think that we weren't coming already because it was late. Oh please, would we give up that easily? Haha!

So we reached the Pangs' house around 10 plus, close to 11. Had a great and crazy time, and got to see more photos of the Yan sisters when they were young! For their privacy I didn't kop any, but I'll name my top three favourites! HAHA!

1) 6-year-old Yan Zhen falling asleep while... (and the conclusion, that she's been like that ever since!)

2) Yan Rui's primary school class photo (including Miaow Guan! HAHA he looked like malay!)

3) The one on Facebook as well.

Many of us needed to rush for the last bus/train (which we never caught) so we left early, but for Kenneth, Tommy and I who were hungry and could afford to stay a little longer, the Pangs' parents treated us to supper! So paiseh lah! Haha but they were good people to talk to. Their dad was sharing how it was his best birthday gift to see his daughters water baptised together on the same day. They have always been praying for three of them to be more on fire, and really thanked God they are on their way to being so after coming to know us.

I think, it's really God's plan. How Miaow Guan was just advertising Nick Vujicic's event, and it caught Yan Rui's attention. That's when he moved. And I can still recall Miaow Guan telling us during CG the story of how young Yan Rui reached out to him in primary school, and we had a good laugh. Not only she is in the same CG as us, so are her sisters! HAHA! Should I share that story here? I shall seek approval first. HAHA!

Since I'm talking about the Yan sisters, I shall go on. They're in Children's Church! They went for their first CCH meeting last Saturday night. I can't wait to see them start serving God. Exciting!

Speaking of which, Ryan got deployed into Writing ministry as well. Although it wasn't one of his choices, he still went for the Ops GT. I think that is great attitude to have. Many people wouldn't turn up, thinking: "Hey there's a mistake, I never chose that ministry and I'm not interested in it." But Ryan was different, he has always been selfless and others-centered.

I remember being deployed into Live Feed ministry as well. I was loss for words when I had to introduce myself and share why I joined Live Feed. I said I like taking videos. True, but I was really just deployed there. I just didn't want people to think that I was there without making a choice; ultimately, I made a choice and accepted to be put in there. Honestly, I kind of miss doing Live Feed. I do, it was because of Live Feed that I grew and learnt how to have a tough heart and be relaxed in handling tough situations.

Well, what's the past is the past, I'm moving on in God. I just thank God that I kept the anything-and-everything attitude through my walk with Him, because from it I always grew a step higher in God. As a man plans his way, the Lord directs his step. Wherever I'm sent to by my pastors and leaders, I know God has a reason for it. I know it's true every time I look back at my life.

So God, again I say, I'll do anything and everything for You.

Uncomfortable as it may seem, but I'll try. I'll try. Again.

Again and again. I will still try...

... At least, for the sake of seeing others do the same. Yeah.

And I'm so inspired that Ryan did just that.

E8, let's have a great attitude to serve God, in anything and everything.

Let's go wherever we're sent to. For Him. :)

points of previous entry

2009-05-03T03:13:00.003+08:00

I would like to clarify regarding my previous entry, I am not attacking anyone.

Yes, it's about a recent incident, but it's not about anyone. It's my general opinion only.

On what the incident is, I shan't say. Haha.

But honestly... I'm neutral about it, and thus my entry...

The reason why I ain't taking sides shouldn't be expressed here.

Maybe when the time is right, I would.

Hmm on second thought, maybe not...

points of authority

2009-05-01T23:23:00.005+08:00

"Men don't follow titles, they follow courage." - William Wallace.

Why? Why? Why?

Why are people so uptight about authorities and positions?

Why can't people understand that respect has to be earned?

Why don't they get it, that people respect others not for the title given to them, but the crap they've been through to earn it?

Pastor How says that leadership is influence.

Because without influence in leadership, it is just demanding, forceful and authoritative.

I follow my pastors and leaders because I am influenced by them in a great way.

I am receptive to them because they have enough influence in my life.

If you want to rise in leadership, what is your goal?

Just for people to recognise you and greet you in the right way?

Just so that you have some 'security' to fit in with those higher?

Just for you to have a little more say than the rest?

Just to show that you're right all the time and seemingly doing a great job?

If you want something you've never had before, you've got to do something you've never done before.

If you've never been a leader and you want to be, you've got to earn from the people what you've never had.

What is it for you that people don't see... yet?

Respect? Favour? Dignity? Love? Maturity? Relevance? Understanding? Security?

Then stop talking about your dreams on rising higher when you haven't worked on those!

"The desire of the lazy man kills him, For his hands refuse to labor." - Proverbs 21:25

People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.

People won't know how much they should respect you until they know how much you respect them.

Leadership is influence.

The beginnings of leadership is wisdom, stature, favour with God and favour with man.

Leadership is never gained just by having a title slapped across you.

Leadership is never gained if people follow your authority but not you.

So relax a little and be nicer, would you?

I believe that way, you'll make a greater leader...

growth

2009-04-30T03:24:00.002+08:00

Psalm 118:8
It is better to trust in the LORD
Than to put confidence in man.

Just the verse I need.

Had a great meeting with E8 last Tuesday. I believe God moved ever since I started praying and seeking Him for a revelation of the CG's direction for this season. I think, that is the first time I wrote a sermon that was 5 pages long just from my own revelation. Garrett and Jamie loved it, so did E8. I was really encouraged. Haha!

Spirituality and connection. Let's do it E8! :)

I thank God for great leaders like Garrett and Jamie. They aren't perfect, but they're awesome.

I've never ever felt so encouraged about myself and my CG than how I am today.

I've never felt so bold to admit our weaknesses...

I've never been able to submit them to God for His strength to be made perfect, without feeling discouraged.

The world lacks such people. Oh yeah.

People should just be more loving, caring and have more compassion for one another.

People should stop judging people and throwing them aside without helping them.

People should definitely stop labeling and gossiping... Definitely should.

Yes, I thank God for the leaders and friends around me today.

I thank God for the breakthrough that is coming.

Growth.

I'm growing. 30 days left. :)

relationships

2009-04-28T04:17:00.003+08:00

but in life, not everything is that simple....
a friend who was once the closest can become the furthest in a blink of an eye.
a good friend can become a stranger just like that.
this is life, REAL and right before our eyes.
that is why a huge percentage of the world's troubles originates from relationships.
because relationships is the most precious in this world.

that is why we can never be too dependant on people.
because if we do, when things change... we become vulnerable.
that is why we can be God-dependant.
because Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forevermore.

He never changes.
NEVER.
His love will always remain the same.
He'll always be there to pick you up and push you forward on this life journey...
always there to mend the broken hearted, to heal, to advocate..

that is my Jesus for you.
:)

I'm just so proud of my good friend here. You go girl.

Oh yeah. Relationships are important.

And that's why God is interested in the relationship you have with Him...

Not how long or how many times you pray, not how much time you spend serving Him.

Those things count, but if the real purpose is missed out, then what's the point?

So who do you depend on most? :)

engage

2009-04-26T03:39:00.002+08:00

God works in mysterious ways.

As most of you know, I'm enlisting in 14th September.

Aside from that, PES B L1 proves that I have a slim chance of getting a part-time posting.

Which means, not as much time to serve God.

Which also means, not as much time to spend with the people I love.

Feeling emotional, I spoke to God.

God said to me that He will be with me when I go in, but I didn't get the answer I wanted.

I mean come on, He knows I wanted an 8-5 duty. I've been praying for it since the beginning.

All I got was His assuring peace, but you know, sometimes assurance is not enough.

Till I got what He meant through today's sermon.

That's His double mention and I was doubly blown away.

Matthew 5:13-16

Oh yes, engage the world.

Which means, engage the friends I'm going to make in army.

Which also means, no slacking or downgrading myself, and thus my testimony in God.

Which basically means, CHIONG. Yeah, you heard me.

Forget seeing specialists to try and down-PES.

Forget ideas of reporting sick and attending B or C.

Forget thoughts of injuring myself (I'm joking, HAHA).

I'm seriously going to miss the people I love back in church.

But to think about it, let's say I can have all the time in the world with them...

... what gain do I have if I leave behind in my camp those who have yet to know God?

The best way to lead is by example.

I think I can say so much about evangelism and incubation, but I can do much more.

I think I can say so much about being a great testimony, but I can show how to.

I think I can say so much about being real and relevant, but I can be an example.

I think I can say so much about having stature and favour, but I can affluence to influence.

Actions do speak louder than words. Doers, not just hearers.

Yes, I hear You Dad, and I'm going to do You proud.

Please take care of E8, let them be more dependent on You and more connected to pastors.

Please take care of my education, let me be able to get my BBA degree fast despite this delay.

Please take care of my spouse whom I have yet to meet or realise (NO ONE IS TO COMMENT LOL).

I'm going to be the example You've called me to be.

I'm going to shine Your light before all ranks and positions, that they may see and glorify You.

I'm going to show how real You are through how real I am...

... though as a Christian among all who are badly perceived by the world, I'm going to be different.

I'm willing. I'm prepared. I'm ready.

Use me. Take all of me.

This is the dream You've planted in my heart.

This is the dream where titles and numbers are almost irrelevant compared to loving the lost.

This is the dream where we can live without having the seven un-Christian habits.

This is the dream where I'm going to live for You in reality.

This, is the reality dream.

60 days

2009-04-23T05:09:00.003+08:00

Please let it come to pass for us.

For all of us.

Romans 8:28

I'm praying for you, friend.

imperfection

2009-04-20T23:52:00.003+08:00

People are not perfect.

People ≠ Perfect

Christians = People

∴ Christians ≠ Perfect

Yes, as Christians, we are not perfect.

Only God is perfect.

I've come to a point where I know I will never be 100% happy and satisfied with people.

Be it family, my parents, my sister (especially on FB haha!), my relatives...

Be it friends, from the closest to new ones...

Be it even church, from leaders to just the members, even in E Zone and E8...

I have never failed to be at least once disappointed by any one of them.

But I've learnt to accept them for who they are, and more than that, learnt to love and trust them.

I may not have perfect parents, but they were always there for me. Literally. Never failed to be.

I may not have a perfect sister, but she has always cared especially during my down times.

I may not have perfect relatives, but when one family member goes down, they are all there.

I may not have perfect friends, but they were the greatest friends I've found thus far.

JY may not be perfect, but because of him I learnt to grow in loving and relating to people.

Fu Rong and Keegan may not be too, but they never fail to cheer me up.

Quek may not agree with me all the time, but he has never judged nor rejected me.

Valerie may be a bit irritating at times (OH YEAH!), but she's a real great friend, I emphasize REAL.

AnnLynn may be mean and numbering my hairs all the time, but she's just simple and pleasant.

HR may be so funny until we sometimes cannot stand him, but that's what we like about him. (HAHA!)

E8 too...

We may be weak in many ways, but we are strong in many ways too...

We may not be fast-growing, but we have convictions that root us deeply in God's house...

We may not be very normal because of our crap, but that's how we like it :D

And of course...

My leaders and I may miscomm and misunderstand each other sometimes...

But regardless of such things as these, they have never lost their trust for me.

At times I thought they have, but the truth is they have never gave up on nor even doubted me.

HOGC is not a perfect church. But HOGC is MY perfect home.

People may ask what still keeps me here for so long?

Why am I still here after so much disappointments from people?

How am I able to trust again?

Because despite an imperfect family in Christ, I have a perfect God.

My emotions don't depend on my leaders, my friends, my CG or anyone else... but Him alone.

My feelings aren't affected by people's imperfection, but always comforted by my Father's perfection.

No more being dependent on people. No more being independent with pride.

God-dependence yo.

PES B L1... So what? I think I'm ready for army. :)

conclusions?

2009-04-17T23:47:00.007+08:00

Well I won't be too quick to jump into them.

Even if I do, I shouldn't be doing it here. I've learnt, that's proven enough?

I can change.

We all can change...

memories

2009-04-15T12:03:00.003+08:00

Just received an unexpected SMS from an old friend and suddenly I feel a little nostalgic. LOL!

We kind of grew up together a little.

It started in a CCA we used to be so enthusiastic about but now we feel ashamed even just to disclose.

But that's how we came to know God.

Through a senior who is as loud as his drums, and you can guess who. Hehe.

That's how we started to go to church together when we were still at Henderson.

He was really a funny guy all along and a great friend to hang out with.

But I soon grew to be title-driven in church that I think I lost my close relationship with him.

Kinda sad. But I'm not sad now because we're talking again.

Still, I remember all those moments.

I remember how we used to listen to each others problems.

I remember how we used to compete in running and pumping.

I remember how we quarreled for a while and made it up after that.

I remember how we helped each other in girl problems (shucks those were embarrassing).

I remember how we used to chiong LAN (and you always owned me).

I remember how we used to laugh at the seniors' weird habits. LOL!

Friend, if you happen to read this, I miss you man. I still remember those times.

Through those years we distanced, I learnt how important relationships were.

Yes, I remembered why you left, and I apologize because I was partly at fault.

I stopped being there for you and I regretted that. I judged you one helluva' lot.

I praise and thank God for the miracle you've experienced.

You've earned even more respect from me by your actions and gratefulness to Him.

To me, you're still a great man, you're still a great friend.

Haha okay, I think I'm getting a bit too mushy.

I just wished I had a picture of both of us that I can post up, but dang.

Anyway, hope to see you soon buddy. :)

once bitten

2009-04-13T07:38:00.005+08:00

... And a hundred times shy?

It's just so hard to trust again.

Maybe I just need the faith to do so.

I want to though. How?

I want back the life I've always dreamt of.

Yet, with these relationships I cherish dearly.

I'm glad both are complimentary.

For E8, I will soar higher... I will. I am willing.

I just want to see each and every one of them grow in God and rise to their purpose.

So I will grow even more in God!

And I know it's just these few complex areas that I need to make right with God in order to breakthrough.

Yeah!

I don't want to grow in God just to be the most talked about leader.

Or just for pastors to talk about me from the pulpit, or for zone leaders to do the same in their meetings.

The title? The glam? The fame? Deep down inside I don't want all that.

I just want to see more lives changed by God, more people coming to God, and less to no one walking away.

That's still my ultimate dream and goal as a Christian.

Become an SCGL before going army? Become a ZM before 21?

Lead a hundred people? Be on full-time staff after graduating?

I'll rejoice in the Lord if those come to past, but if they don't, it doesn't matter really matter.

Not as much as simply being a good testimony of God for others to follow.

Not as much as being a Christian without the 7 things people hate.

Not as much as taking extra miles to bring God's love to people.

Because I know, If I'm not ready to take these big responsibilities, I'd rather not.

I walk in God's plans and God's pace for my life.

If I'm not ready for these, I know I will still love...

Love God, pastors, people (E8 included!), life.

I am a Christian first, then a leader.

supper

2009-04-12T03:05:00.004+08:00

Episode 2 (typo in title) of The Art Of Connecting With Friends is up.

Hilarious.

Some of you caught my Facebook update in the video. LOL. I think.

It was about my medical check up for NS, when I got pending status.

Speaking of which, I gotta find a specialist. Suggestions anyone?

If I really get PES E, praise God in the highest man...

I will thank God by... coming on staff?

LOL! But really, I think I want to...

... Or should I?

Having past doubts and fears. But I think I will in the end.

I want to be closer to my pastors and leaders. :D

Honest.

It's a privilege damn it, Gabriel can't you see!? Argh.

I feel like banging my head on the wall now with this thought.

Well, it's a long way till then. I shall pray and fast for my medical status first.

Then ask God about this... Oh man.

Okay, better go bathe or I can't sleep on Qi Wei's mattress.

Yes, I'm at his house again. We're going to church together early tomorrow.

Bye.

Sentosa with E8 tomorrow.

No better else way to end off a great weekend than with great people like them. :)

7 things I hate

2009-04-11T13:03:00.004+08:00

I'm going to so love this series to bits.

If you're not a Christian, you should even more hear this than I do.

7 Things I Hate About Christianity.

It's for all. And yes, it attacks Christians. But I love it. Haha! Evaluation time.

Wow? Hear it for yourselves.

E8 has real men.

I'm just so encouraged by how they would go out of the way to love and care for one another.

Be it Raffles Place MRT or the Bak Kut Teh stall opposite of Central.

They are just awesome in how they honour the girls in our CG and treat them like gems.

They make me feel bad not sending Wei Xian home. LOL!

This we have, we will never lose. I pray, God.

Family.

convictions?

2009-04-09T11:04:00.004+08:00

Figures can never lie...

... But must it be all we're after?

They say whatever you focus on will grow.

Do you focus on the largeness and increase rate of the number?

Or do you focus on what it represents no matter how big it may be? Or how fast it increases?

It's a dream I've kept since last year.

Zero backslide rate. Now THAT'S a figure.

Even if E8 doesn't grow one bit (which they have)...

Even if E8 has a lack of leaders...

My focus... Our focus... Relationships...

No one left out, no one left behind...

No one backsliding.

Our weakness we'll keep working on, yet our strength we will always keep strong.

Faith. Hope. Love. And the greatest of these is STILL love.

Love is what matters the most.

Love is what grows everyone.

Let's focus on love, not growth.

Growth comes when we stop judging and start loving.

Growth is hard when we focus on it and miss out the point about loving.

Yes, figures will bring analysis and evaluation.

But figures won't condemn us.

God has seen how far we've come, so has everyone.

The devil knows. The devil is trying to stop us.

No. No. No.

God is faithful. Even when we were faithless.

Now let's be faithful to what we do best for Him.

Easter is here. Let's do it E8.

Let's show how we grow.

'Cos this is how we roll. :)

It's all about God. Let's love God with all our hearts.

God is Love. Let's bring Love to our families and friends, our schools and workplaces.

It's all about Love.

God, You've helped me to love, now help me to trust.

Still, You're my First Love...

perplexed

2009-04-08T02:47:00.003+08:00

But not in despair.

God, I trust You.

I don't understand, but I've got faith.

Marketing is getting on my nerves.

Especially when you're watching the Man Utd-Porto match while taking a break...

And you see 17-year-old Macheda on the bench in a UCL match...

When people like HR and I nearing our 20s are struggling with Marketing Research and Supply Chain!

WHOOTS!

Yeah Hong Rui is at my house.

We're going to study overnight and conquer Marketing tomorrow.

After which, if we still have energy, we'll go chiong L4D.

Can't wait for Easter! E8's growing by strengthhhh! :D

Just SEVEN more to Nihon Mura eh! HAHA!

Okay, the match is getting fierce.

Bye.

syndrome

2009-04-07T12:30:00.005+08:00

I'm supposed to be studying but I'm updating my blog.

Because my class buddies whom I'm meeting to study with is not yet here.

I shall talk about a new syndrome I have discovered before my mean friend steals my discovery.

It's called the I-need-to-study-but-I-don't-feel-like syndrome (I need to think of a proper name).

The symptoms are doing everything else except studying.

Even if it's doing something you have been feeling lazy to do for a long time, or even hate doing.

It's ANYTHING but studying!

Thus 4 mad people were suffering from it last night.

One was playing Facebook and doing millions of quizzes, then thinking of baptism names.

One was thinking whether we should play L4D before studying today so as a motivation to wake up.

One was eating supper and talking nonsense on MSN.

One was just being very mean and irritating.

Yeah so you have, my new discovery.

I will come up with a name soon.

Anyway, we didn't play L4D before studying.

Neither did anyone have the motivation to wake up at the time they wanted to. HAHA.

Explains why I'm waiting and thus blogging.

My mean friend has reached though, but I'm going to leave her alone because I want to buy lunch with Josh.

Don't care her! BYE!

We are such good students! :D

love

2009-04-05T00:35:00.006+08:00

Pastor Kong's blog gets more inspiring each time he posts.

Read this. You're so going to love it.

Yes, I think we should be different and change the way people think about us christians.

We are NOT hypocrites.

We are NOT just trying to convert people.

We are NOT condemning gays and lesbians.

We are NOT in our own bubble world.

We are NOT conservative.

We are NOT judgmental.

At least, we SHOULDN'T. And I think all of us should reflect.

Pastors always say, the church is built by LOVE.

Making simple birthday videos for people...

Having fun with cameras together...

Tagging people with photos online and flooding funny comments...

L4D outings...

Simple meals and fellowship...

Or even just dropping by at people's homes, schools and workplaces...

STAYOVERS! Haha...

It's all about relationships. Act 2:44-47.

God is a relational God. Christianity is about having a relationship with God and God's family.

It isn't a religion. It isn't a law by law thing you need to follow just to get to Heaven.

It's about growing in our character as God moulds and teaches us to love Him and love others.

His heart is with others. It's about others.

That's what I love about E8. They are all about faith, hope and love.

And I really believe we can hit 30 in overall for Good Friday and Easter.

If so, we'll celebrate immediately on Sunday! Nihon Mura! HAHA!

We are already 15 so EACH of us just need to bring ONE friend!

Which I think the Yan sisters are bringing truckloads already because they're going to get baptised!

Yes! All three of them are getting baptised this coming Friday!

Yan Rui, Yan Zhen (NOT Zui) and Yan Hui!

If you are really their friend you must accept their invitations okayyy!

HAHA no pressure lah! But it's their big day, would be great to be there for them!

Yan Rui and Yan Zhen signed up for BMT(A) too!

And so did Ryan and Tee Ang! WOAH!

Can't wait to see them serving God in ministry one day lahhh!

From left: (Top) Fabian, Tommy, me, Kenneth, Mark, Ryan, Tee Ang, Derry (still with hair), (Bottom) Yan Rui, Yan Zhen, Zoe

So proud of them.

So proud of E8. One by one, they're growing in God.

CG was awesome today. Presence of God was so strong.

Let's make CG like this every week! :D

Okay, I shall entertain the multitude of MSN conversations being bombarded at me.

One of them is complaining that I seem distracted. HAHA!

Ciao!

fantastic

2009-04-04T03:49:00.002+08:00

Just had an awesome worship session with Anthony!

It's been a long time since we just dwelled in His deep presence for one whole hour or so.

I miss this feeling so much! The simple hunger for God to minister and speak to us...

God also ministered to Anto about a recent problem in his life and he felt really encouraged!

All things are possible with God.

Our biggest problems in life are like tiny dots in God's eyes compared to His purpose for us in our lives.

No problem is too great that we cannot endure with Christ's strength.

I thank God for the problems in my life.

All that happened, and are happening, and will happen in the future.

Because I know, problems which do not kill me will make me stronger.

From every setback, even the smallest, I can learn from them, breathe, relax and move on...

What more? I look to relate to and help other people who would go through the same things.

Just like how Jesus has went through every problem before, He can help us with ours.

We are called to do the same for others with the problems we have faced before!

That's why I always believe that, the best way to lead, is by example...

Great weekend ahead! :D

psed!

2009-04-02T11:35:00.003+08:00

I shall blog again since I'm alone and so free now.

I have been pangseh-ed by my two very good friends because they went exercise before I got up...

I didn't wake up late! Furong told me 10am, I woke up exactly at 10am! HAHA!

No lah... Qiwei said 9.30am actually. But couldn't they wait for me! D:

I shall stop complaining. HAHA!

Follow Up with Ryan before E Evens gathering.

And if you haven't heard, Ryan just got a new blog! It's here!

Every time I read his first entry, I thank God for E8. WOW.

It's not always about the numbers, like we always say.

It's every single life changed just by the little things we do out of love.

It's about relationships!

It's been two busy weeks.

Birthday. Failed FTT. Pending medical status for NS. HAHA!

Let's update one by one.

For NS, I got PES D because of suspected lipid panel.

That means, they think I have potential of getting heart attack.

Why? Because my dad has gotten it twice before.

So? I MIGHT GET PES E! WHOO!

Imagine... "Sir, chest pain, chest pain..."

Then straight away 8-5! More time to serve God and still can continue PGSM! :D

And I failed FTT!

And and I choose not talk about it! HAHA!

Let's move on!

I really enjoyed my birthday this year, especially most of it with E8!

E8 can be like one great birthday present to me already.

Their videos are the best and at the same time the corniest!

I can't stand it when Tee Ang and Ryan goes "you know I can't smile..."

Now the whole song is stuck in my head!

Haha! E8 you are the best!

Now I have the videos, can someone upload pictures!?!?!?!?!? LOL!

Oh my two good friends are back!

They are complaining about my phone alarm waking them up.

Well, it could wake them up but not me! HAHA!

I shall look at the bright side... They are hot and sweaty while I'm nice-smelling and clean.

I should have hogged the toilet and not let them bathe. LOL!

I'm not such a mean person after all. Right Annlynn!? =PpP

Okay, the peaceful atmosphere ends and so does the blogging.

HAHA! I'm kidding. Bye!

dilemma

2009-04-02T04:56:00.005+08:00

What could I say?

What could I do?

But offer this heart oh God

Completely to You

I'll stand

With arms high and heart abandoned

In awe of the One who gave it all

I'll stand

My soul Lord to You surrendered

All I have is Yours

New levels, new devils.

It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do...

It's the biggest sacrifice I'll ever have to make...

Can I not? I know I can't...

God-dependence is not as easy as dependence though they sound the same.

If you rush in, you'll confuse maturity with complexity.

And before you move on, are you independent enough to be God-dependent?

Because it may not be a spirit of independence, but one of insecurity...

It's still early, my friend... Be simple, go simple, grow simple...

Second humbling...

... And I do learn to say, "God, I can't do it all, I can't take it all..."

God, take Your time. :)

second humbling

2009-03-23T07:15:00.002+08:00

The number eight...

Represents a new beginning.

The old has gone. The new has come.

The new E8 has come. :)

So many things happened this week...

And all was good!

All things work out for good to those who love Him...

To those who are the called according to His purpose.

Birthday entry and photos will be up as soon as I get them. :D

So i'll just end here...

... Actually, I still can't blog a proper post because I have to rush my project.

HAHAHA!

Okay bye.

freedom

2009-03-20T00:42:00.005+08:00

During worship in CG today, I got the best revelation of how when we put God first, we have true freedom.

It's like Joseph and the Pharoah.

Joseph became in power and authority over all of Egypt. He had total control over every decision.

But Pharoah still have the throne and the power to oversee everything Joseph could do.

Pharoah is nothing compared to God.

But this is one great illustration.

True freedom is being second in power over your life, just like Joseph over Egypt.

True freedom is when you can make decisions and things happen in your life, just with God's guidance.

True freedom is when you are in control of your life, but Jesus still sits on the throne of your life.

True freedom is when you can live your life according to your convictions and also God's word.

True freedom, is seeking God first.

True freedom, is being secure, because you know that when God is with you, you're in control.

Just like how God was with Joseph.

Pharoah was so secure about giving Joseph power, because he saw that God was with Joseph.

Break the chains in your life and be free in Christ.

Worldly values. Worldly expectations. People's opinions.

Persecution. Problems. Any kind.

True freedom...

Is when you follow God's purpose for you in life regardless of all these.

Is when you do, and every area of your life falling into place.

Do you want freedom in your life? :)

believe in change?

2009-03-19T17:24:00.004+08:00

Stayover wasn't very enjoyable but I enjoyed the company lah.

LOL. Although I was just a little moody because their DotA chionging disturbed my sleep completely.

Keegan, Fu Rong and Zhi Xiang are just hilarious people.

Friends change gloomy nights into warm moments.

Speaking of stayovers and sleep, here's the big question (which I think you guys have read on Twitter).

Should I switch? From being such a nocturnal freak to a morning bird.

Okay, morning person... Now everything related to bird makes me think of Darryl Seah trying to find Tweet.sg

Few reasons why I'm considering:-

1) I realised E20 people are all morning people.

Not many stay up late often. Instead, most are early risers unlike me now. HAHA.

Waking up early can mean meeting some of them for lunches during their breaks.

And never fearing that I'll oversleep. HAHA!

2) I love the morning feeling.

On the way home from Zhi Xiang's house, I enjoyed the air and the premature sunlight.

I've never felt that atmosphere for a long time. I felt like jogging though I was half dead.

Yeah, I prefer morning jogs. I don't know why I can't do evening ones.

The feeling's just not right. Hmm.

For reason number 3 to 2804710283901824, army.

Please give your opinions. HAHAHA!

I'm excited for CG! It's a powerful word from God!

And I'm going to play the song In Liberty!

Can't wait!

Can't wait for this weekend too! :))

in liberty

2009-03-18T17:26:00.004+08:00

When my soul is weak

I sing God strengthen me

When I find myself in need

I sing God rescue me

When my troubles overwhelm

I sing God bring Your peace

Lord Your one and only Son

Is all I ever need

Hallelujah

Your love has set me free

Hallelujah

By Your offering

Our Father

In You I believe

Hallelujah

I stand in liberty

If my world comes crashing down

In Your love Lord I'll be found

And this freedom I've received

Causes me to sing

I am free, free

All my chains are broken

I am free, free

All my chains are broken

you

2009-03-17T21:30:00.005+08:00

What a tiring day. I slept too much. Argh.

The irony of it all!

I was just blog hopping a little and chanced upon entries that I've really enjoyed.

Shan't do free advertising here, HAHA!

But what I really like about blogs is when the blogger dares to speak his/her mind.

My definition of a good blog is when it can at least define the blogger's thoughts.

If not, why blog?

People read your blog to know what's up in your life and what you're thinking.

You don't need a happening life, neither do you need an interesting life.

All you need to do is be real about your thoughts, feelings and convictions.

On one condition however, is not to stumble or offend anyone.

That is one thing I've learnt and will change.

But what stands is that my blog will always be where I speak my mind and pour my soul.

This is where you can know more about me, whether you want to or not.

Okay, I sound very hostile. HAHA.

Seriously, let your blog shout as loud as your life does.

Who cares about the number of tags? Who cares about the number of visitors?

Although I have BlogPatrol lah! I care not the number but WHO visits =P

Other than that, I just care whether or not I am real enough for people to understand.

I don't want to be so plastic and distant from people no matter how high I go in life.

Are you predictable as a person?

Can you be easily understood?

Because life is already very complicated.

Be different. Be real.

Make life easy for yourself, and for everyone.

recession?

2009-03-16T15:19:00.004+08:00

Recession and Creativity - Pastor Kong

Pastor Kong's blog really inspires me.

We shouldn't let our situations and surroundings influence us, but the other way around.

God's plan for us is to have dominion... I believe, dominion over problems like recession is included.

We may not be the ones in control of our family's finances, but we face similar problems.

Just these few weeks and months haven't been the best of times for all of us in church.

I haven't been all that blameless myself, but I'm glad I did one thing right...

... that is, not giving up on E20.

In the midst of a messy time such as this, E20 has been at it's growing season.

Even within us, we face problems individually (yes, a LOT individually), internally and as a whole CG...

But we've never failed to overcome any of those as long as we were together, being there for one another.

They simply refuse to be part of the "recession". They soar above it and grow!

That's why God wants His church to be strong!

Because we may be easy to break individually, but when we're a bundle, we're unbreakable!

Last weekend was powerful.

Pastor How shared about offence, and Pastor Paul Scanlon shared about the true meaning of evangelism.

I'm proud of E20 being able to joke and laugh with each other, being so secure and big-minded.

I'm proud of E20 reaching out even without events and challenges, just building real relationships.

This weekend God made me realise these strengths in the CG and I believe we're going to keep them!

Individual progresses have also been made...

Miaow Guan just became an SL in Usher... Tee Ang brought his friends back...

Ryan has been coming back regularly! Lester got his 8-5...

Can it get any better than this?

Well, I'm sure it can. :)

Recession is evil. Poverty is of the devil.

The devil will never recess us, financially or even spiritually.

In any context, in any situation, in any circumstances.

Our God is in control.

Let us be His light every where, to all.

Fifteen revolution, here we come!

what haaapen

2009-03-14T22:40:00.008+08:00

Just came home from an awesome service.

Yeah, received and learnt a lot. I shall not blog about it. HAHA!

But well I do admit I've blogged about being offended... In fact, a lot of times.

I'm learning, and I'm glad I've retreated. :)

Just a great thing I must mention, E20 has been averaging 15 every weekend.

I don't normally talk about attendance, but the fruits of our labour are developing.

I remember Garrett's challenge to me to grow E20 by 5 people after Christmas, well that has come to pass!

We are at our best times so far but greater things are to come after this season...

This is only the beginning! I believe we still have other areas to grow in!

Now they want to breakthrough 20 on my birthday. Haha, I don't see the need to, but I'm touched.

Because of them, I'm actually quite excited about my birthday coming.

On a side note, we have a new Games Coordinator!

He is "Uncle" Teo Tee Ang! HAHA!

Whatever things which has to do with games and entertainment in the CG, he's the man.

It's just fun and happening whenever he's around. He puts a smile on everyone's faces.

I'm happy to see people serving God, even if it's just a small CG thing.

I'm so proud of you guys.

Let's continue changing and impacting lives for the glory of God. :)

With all the good things happening, a price is paid. At least for a Man Utd supporter like me.

Seeing my team get beat down on home soil by an unworthy team who hasn't won the EPL for 20 seasons...

... sorry, 19, but it's 20 after this season.

Haha, I'm just disappointed with the champions' performance.

Vidic had an awful game... one crucial error, and one red card.

Well, he's still a great defender and I won't strike him off just because of one mistake.

Just a bad day for the champs. They'll pick themselves up.

They will still be the clean sweep champions.

EPL. UCL. FA Cup. CWC. League Cup. Community Shield.

All in one season. They're already making history. That's what matters.

Let's not brood over small things any more.

Let's be history makers.

Amen?

Amen! Hallelujah! OHHH-(sings in tongues) !

another day

2009-03-14T14:44:00.003+08:00

I just woke up not long ago. HAHA!

I think I need a change in my lifestyle. Give me more reasons to wake up early man!

Because everything that's happening in my life only starts from afternoon onwards!

This includes church, school and even just hanging out with friends.

I am feeling super duper insecure BECAUSE I HAVE HAIRY ARMS!

And please it isn't that hairy, but hairy enough to distract AnnLynn and Val during lesson time.

They even drew a hand with exaggerating hair length on their notes!

THANKS AH! Haha! Nevermind, I'm proud of how I am.

I believe my wife next time won't be so small minded to detest me of my hairy-ness.

On a brighter note, haha, PASTORS ARE BACK TODAY!

This means... a lot of things. HAHA!

But what's important is that it's great to have our spiritual parents back with us.

It's so weird going to church and not seeing pastors...

It's like going home and not seeing your parents.

Well, that's how pastors are to us. :)

Just last Thursday, we gave a treat to the brainy girls!

Who is... Yan Zhen, Jing Xian and Weining! HAHA!

Their results are crazy. Anything below B is like F to them I think.

Well we had an awesome time despite waiting for seats (we were 18 people, E4 joined us!).

Now we're waiting for Miaow Guan to upload the photos on Facebook!

Last but not least, please pray for Derry and Fabian!!! :DD

answer

2009-03-13T13:44:00.000+08:00

Here is the answer to the lame question.

reality

2009-03-12T12:40:00.006+08:00

Romans 8:38-39
38 For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, 39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Be it school or work. Be it titles or authority.

Be it the law of this nation. Or be it just issues in our lives.

I remember saying it loud and clear.

In 2009, no one in E20 will backslide.

We will stay connected to God.

We will be unbreakable with our convictions.

We will keep this vision strong.

We will look out for one another.

WE WILL NOT LOSE.

Guys, let's do life together.

I believe even 10 years down the road from today, we'll still be great friends.

No matter what happens, we will never be separated from God's love. :)

lame

2009-03-11T07:06:00.002+08:00

My mum emailed me a very lame puzzle which I would like to share with you guys.

In such a situation, how do you save yourself?

I will post the answer tonight.

To warn you, it's seriously lame. LOL.

But I think it's something I might do though.

potato

2009-03-10T17:17:00.002+08:00

[c=#8451EE]Zoe^^ [/c],God's precious daughter.: must go watch this show!! 终极三国
Gabriel - Redemption?: zhong ji san guo
[c=#8451EE]Zoe^^ [/c],God's precious daughter.: woah! you know how to read!
Gabriel - Redemption?: middle chicken three countries?
[c=#8451EE]Zoe^^ [/c],God's precious daughter.: no lah!!
Gabriel - Redemption?: mid chicken third country
Gabriel - Redemption?: mid chicken in a third world country
[c=#8451EE]Zoe^^ [/c],God's precious daughter.: no lah!
Gabriel - Redemption?: spring chicken!
Gabriel - Redemption?: third world country spring chicken
[c=#8451EE]Zoe^^ [/c],God's precious daughter.: gab lee. dont lame with me
[c=#8451EE]Zoe^^ [/c],God's precious daughter.: lol!
Gabriel - Redemption?: correct what!
[c=#8451EE]Zoe^^ [/c],God's precious daughter.: is a very nice show
[c=#8451EE]Zoe^^ [/c],God's precious daughter.: 三国 is 3 kingdoms
Gabriel - Redemption?: ohhhh
Gabriel - Redemption?: 3 kingdoms fight over the spring chicken
[c=#8451EE]Zoe^^ [/c],God's precious daughter.: 终极三国 is ultimate 3 kingdom!
Gabriel - Redemption?: zhong ji is ultimate meh?
Gabriel - Redemption?: i thought is chao ji
[c=#8451EE]Zoe^^ [/c],God's precious daughter.: yes!
Gabriel - Redemption?: chao ji shi chang is supermarket
[c=#8451EE]Zoe^^ [/c],God's precious daughter.: chao ji is super
Gabriel - Redemption?: oh ya hor
[c=#8451EE]Zoe^^ [/c],God's precious daughter.: ultimate is zhong ji
Gabriel - Redemption?: so zhong ji shi chang is ultimarket!

Lesson learnt, never try to teach me Chinese.

Or rather, ask me to watch Chinese shows.

I grow up eating potatoes. LOL.

decided

2009-03-10T07:34:00.001+08:00

For You, I will.

uncompromising

2009-03-08T00:22:00.001+08:00

Once again, I'm Yours for life.

No more running wild.

God, You've got me here forever.

So funny, I shall not say what.

But I'm having such a weird feeling after that. LOL.

I've come to the point where I don't fear life any more.

Bring on any problem, any difficulty...

I'm at the stage where I believe with the convictions that God has built in me, nothing can hold me back any more.

It's true, that whatever does not kill you, make you stronger...

Even if you are going through a difficult phase in your life right now and you feel that you aren't handling it well, just hang in there...

It's like a rope ladder from a helicopter saving you...

You may not climb to the top, but as long as you hold on, you'll be safely rescued out of there.

Hold on to your convictions, even if you think they are not as strong as the people around you.

Just hold on to them through every trial and testing...

Because that's how convictions grow stronger.

Hold on, my friend.

Hang in there.

life

2009-03-06T00:27:00.005+08:00

Am I ready for it?

Am I prepared to return to the good ol' ways again?

Am I convinced that everything will be alright?

Am I willing to trust with my hundred percent once more?

God, with You...

I can do all things.

I am. I am. I am.

Here I am, send me (again).

I'm back to less aggressive blogging for now.

Probably because I've whacked all that I needed to for the past two months.

I'm finally satisfied that circumstances have took a turn.

So let's return to normal life yeah?

Ryan just came back from his Vietnam school trip.

He was supposed to arrive at 6pm, but only did at 8pm because of the storm.

It was a scary experience... They were about to crash land in Singapore.

Ryan shared with us that he was praying to God, and I believe that's how they were diverted to Batam.

That shall be his story to share next time.

Had a great dinner at Popeye's after that.

The CG learnt what a joker Ryan was, and we had a good laugh.

But Ryan, play down the teasing a little alright? Or someday you're going to offend someone.

Well, good thing we're all secure, especially Yan Rui. LOL!

Yan Rui's heading off to KL later at 6am with her classmates.

She wants the CG to miss her, and we have no choice...

KIDDING LAH! We will miss you! Your presence will be felt!

And thanks for giving me your very nice piece of art! LOL!

Also today, Yan Zhen's receiving her A Level results while Yan Hui has a Maths test.

Yan Zhen is all nervous and was emo-ing just now, when I strongly think she might even get straight As.

Honestly, she's just smart. Don't think she slacker nua so much means she very bimbotic.

She found the error in this question immediately... Let's see how long you'd take!

x = 1

x² = x // Multiply both sides by x

x² - 1 = x - 1 // Subtract both sides by 1

(x - 1)(x + 1) = (x - 1) // Factorise left hand side

(x + 1) = 1 // Strike out common factor

(1 + 1) = 1 // Sub x = 1 into equation

2 = 1??? // Now that's something you don't learn in school!

If you're taking your E Maths O Level paper the next day, this question will definitely give you a headache and enough stress for a mental breakdown.

I'll tell you the answer next time. *EVIL LAUGHTER*

Alright, I better hit the remaining chapters of my exam paper.

So many things happening today lah!

Greater things have yet to come.

Ps. No pictures sorry, our dear photographer Miaow Guan wasn't present today! LOL!

Or was he? Maybe we didn't realise again... HAHA.

i remember

2009-03-04T02:07:00.002+08:00

Although I have a dream to be a CGL by end of this year, but I know I don't have to be one to be loyal to my pastors. I will be a CGL again because I am loyal to my pastors and leaders, not the other or any other way around. Send me anywhere, to the schools, the campuses, the army barracks, the marketplace, anywhere in the world... My heart will always be here in Heart of God church. You can take me out of HOGC, but you will never take HOGC out of me.

Discouragements after discouragements.
Losses afters losses.
Failures after failures.
Disappointed, upset, troubled...
I am Heart of God church for life.

Posted on my birthday the previous year, and now that very same day is coming soon.

*HINTS ALRIGHT*

I'm glad that I lived up to what I typed a year ago.

I'm glad that setbacks and disappointments never put me down again.

I'm glad that I am still loyal to my pastors and my leaders who have sown so much in me.

I'm glad that the title of a CGL did not buffet my pride like in the past.

I'm glad, that I am STILL Heart of God church for life. :)

freakin funny

2009-03-03T03:18:00.003+08:00

Mind the censored beep, just enjoy the video. LOL.

This guys is seriously hilarious.

I believe he will go to Heaven.

I want to see Heaven having such funny guys like him.

Maybe he just needs to love the unbelievers a little bit more.

But I wouldn't blame him for this, firstly I mean come on, he was at the receiving end of an "unfiltered" sneeze.

Secondly, it's just freakin' funny.

vantage point

2009-03-02T11:42:00.008+08:00

It's for freedom that Christ has set us free

I live for You

And not for

AI was awesome.

How I wish I had the sufficient qualifications to greatly influence the world for God.

Honestly, if I had a choice right now, I'd rather be a missionary or a businessman out there, not just doing well, but doing good as a great testimony.

I'd rather rise up the ranks when I get enlisted, not for my glory, but His.

But Pastor How said, "it is better to be a king-maker than a king."

And that's why I am willing to sacrifice all and accept God's main calling in my life.

Leaders bring you where they want you to be, but great leaders bring you where you ought to be.

All my friends may be kings, but I'll raise up kings to be the salt and the light of the world.

Anyway, chiong-ed down to the Wellness Fair which Kieran invited us to.

Although it's just another of Amway's promotion of products, we had fun finding out how healthy we were.

The thing we were most amused about was our visceral fats.

To explain, basically it's the length of our fats at our waists.

Tommy, Kenneth and I have a visceral fats length of ONE INCH each! LOL!

I think it might be even possible to have one inch IN TOTAL. HAHA!

I wouldn't put Tee Ang's one here.

We owned the bus which I forgot what number it was! No one else was taking it!

HAHA! E20 OWNSSS!!!

After alighting, we battled through the rain to IKEA for dinner. It's crazy!

We were talking and laughing so much at the pedestrian crossing that we didn't even know the green man was flashing!

THIS HAPPENED TWICE because we were at crossroads, and we needed to cross two times to get to IKEA on the other end.

So we ended up running a lot, getting wet despite some having umbrellas, beating two blinking green men, and laughing our butts off.

Enjoyed nice food at IKEA. No pictures of it.

Because we were too hungry and the food was too good, so no one bothered to take any.

Here's to end off our day.

Jia Yang and Fu Rong stayed over at my place after that.

Watched Man Utd win yet another silverware, talked nonsense, ate McDonald's breakfast and slept like pigs.

Oh, they played DotA too. HAHA. But now they are still sleeping. Goodness.

I've got to show you something!

This is what Fu Rong turned my table into, his WCG-styled command centre.

Crazy is an understatement. One DotA game bring external keyboard bring speakers bring everything.

In the end also kena own. LOL! I shan't elaborate.

Presentation in like 7 hours time and to be honest, I'm quite nervous.

Meeting the group later to prepare.

The future is going to be AMAZING.

ai rocks

2009-03-01T00:58:00.003+08:00

1. Leadership is influence, not authority.

2. Leadership can provide CHANGE.

3. If you are wrong, apologise, but if you are right, SHUT UP.

4. Leaders bring you where they want you to be, but great leaders bring you where you ought to be.

OWNNNNN.

When I'm older, I want to preach in AI. :DD

Trust me and hang in there please. I'll never want to lose you ever.

i can't think of a title, stop stressing me!

2009-02-28T12:24:00.002+08:00

Was too tired to blog last night.

Project meeting was crazy until we all shared a cab home in the end.

Can't believe time pass so fast, we are finishing one module already.

Nowadays, months pass as if January was just yesterday.

Speaking of which, Val showed me her blog archives and I had a good laugh.

Last tiimex she tokk liddat wan worrsxz! OH MY TIAN! (I mean Yanzhen's tian)

Thank goodness she's no longer like that already.

If notx iie duncch fwen uee oreadiix!

LOL! I think she will really kill me now!

I think Zoe and Minting are really very funny.

They can say things that make me laugh until not awake also awake.

I was sleeping for goodness sakes! Well it was 1pm anyway...

I'm just so grateful to them helping out in the CG.

I would love to have people like them in E20... real, sincere and loving simplicity.

Well, having them as friends are good enough already lah...

And today, they're sitting with us too!

Very soon everyone will think that they are from E20.

In fact, Tommy blogged and said Zoe was the new member of E20. I was like LOL!

I was just blog hopping earlier this morning and I found Ranford's blog!

Didn't know he had one, but it's more or less dead! Haha!

Quoted from his blog: "Just as the saying goes 'don't judge a book by it's cover', don't judge my life according to my blog! Hahaha..."

Don't judge me by my blog too hor! Actually I don't mind because my blog speaks a lot about my life...

I'd rather you judge me by my blog than by anything else! But...

AIYAH! JUST DON'T JUDGE, OKAY PEOPLE!?

When you judge in your heart, you won't have any space to love!

Oh well that's all for what's on my mind right now.

Time to go for AI! :D See ya'll!

SOLD

2009-02-27T11:04:00.008+08:00

Does anyone want a $100-seat ticket to the Jason Mraz concert this coming Thursday (5th March, 8pm @ SIS) ?

I am selling it for $80! Tag if you're interested, or SMS 94798936!

First come first serve! :)

Edit: SOLD!

e20-l4d

2009-02-27T00:34:00.002+08:00

Crazy L4D outing with E20 today. Yes, with the girls too.

YAY! Now I have pictures to not make my entry too wordy.

Girls of E20: Yan Rui (with her stunning new hairstyle), Yan Zhen, Zoe and Hiany AKA The Drama Mama

E20 eating Tau Huay: Mark, Fabian, Derry, Gabriel, Tee Ang, Tommy, Kenneth (who couldn't wait to eat), Yan Rui, Zoe, Yan Zhen

Uncle trying to act like the witch in L4D.

After a night of killing zombies.

The only irritating part of the game was that it was run by Steam™ and it kept disconnecting.

Then we had to keep reconnecting. Some more we only played for 1 hour.

We've got to find a better LAN shop next time. With bigger space and more computers too. HAHA.

AND TOMMY IS THE WITCH SLAYER!

He kill witch like in 3 seconds on his own? SIAO.

Tommy you've got to teach me man!

And if you thought girls couldn't play LAN, you're very wrong.

Zoe and the Yan sisters totally owned. HAHA.

I guess LANing is no longer a guys thing any more. L4D has changed it.

Just that it has to be... zombies...

But I think I've overcome the phobia.

I STILL HATE IT WHEN THE HUNTER JUMPS ON ME FROM THE FRONT! OO:

That's about all. We'll definitely play again next time.

To end of this entry:

Acts 2:44-47

And that's how we're going to grow and breakthrough.

Simple. Genuine. Real. Authentic.

crazy

2009-02-26T13:44:00.002+08:00

My mum sent me a picture through MSN and asked me if I want this.

I told her I don't mind having it as a birthday present. :D

Siao lah, so flashy.

not doing well

2009-02-26T01:43:00.000+08:00

School was funny today.

Laugh and laugh and laugh until my face cramp and stomach hurt.

Too many funny things to type out, if not my blog become wordy again.

Darn, should have video-ed it down or taken some pictures.

Maybe that's how you guys fill your entries with photos, just take every minute of your moments right?

But that's not my style leh! HAHA!

I like to write more.

Anyway, here's to talk about my very difficult question I asked in my past entry.

What does it mean when you say someone is "not doing well"?

Honestly, I have no definite answer.

This term was supposed to be used out of concern from our pastors and leaders.

Sadly, this term became a label of judgment.

"Not doing well" has became so diversified in its meaning.

- Stagnant in CG/ministry, not rising up

- Maybe rising up but not coping, low capacity

- Progressing in church but struggling outside (PO, failing in studies, unnecessary persecution etc.)

- Getting discipled every single time, as a result running tired, running dry

- Having a certain stronghold, a struggle in his/her life

- Not planning or living life well, not disciplined enough

If just having one of these problems allows this person to be labelled as "not doing well", then I rather not be doing well.

Because "doing well" requires you to be perfect, and only God is.

I mean, don't everyone have at least one of these problems in their lives?

How many of you have at least one of these problems in your life, but you feel that you are experiencing a growing season at the same time?

The worst part of it all is that when people think you are "not doing well", their relationship with you ends there.

They start to talk to you in a different way, and friends seem to shun you and ignore you.

They start to limit you and say that you can't do this and that.

They start to trust you lesser. They start to leave you out or even strike you out.

They start to take sides against you and you will start to feel condemned.

Pastor How's sermon on the Roadmap of the Christian Journey reveals how our growth in God should always be going upwards.

I believe that even if our progress in our CG and ministry is stagnant, God is still growing us.

When I was still stagnant as a leader, Garrett shared with me: "God is growing you, you may not know it but He is."

Even if we are "not doing well", we are still going upwards with God.

When I was taken down from my CGL status in C Zone, transferred to E Zone as a normal member, struggled with a lot of problems, painstakingly rose up again pastorally and in ministry, eventually back to being a CGL now... I felt that I was always going upwards in my growth and relationship with God.

Even when I was a TL a year ago, I felt that I was a stronger leader than when I was a CGL back then.

Regardless of the titles and positions, God brought me through the Christian roadmap the same way He brought every single other Christian.

Though my route was unique and so was my purpose, I'm no different in going through the process.

I am still who I am.

Pastors still trusted and believed in me as who I am even after every single setback I faced in church and in life.

When I realised that, I knew that I walked straight into God's plans.

They may seem wrong in a lot of ways, but God had different and higher perspective.

Are your relationships and value in people based on whether they are "doing well"?
Do you trust people according to their character and substance, or just how "well" they are doing?

So what is "not doing well"?

Am I "doing well" or not?

I rather not answer, because I don't want anyone to judge themselves in this way any more.

Neither will I ever judge anyone using this term for how evil it has turned into.

Be specific. Be honest. Be real.

We are authentic and not plastic.

angmoh

2009-02-25T03:06:00.007+08:00

At Ang Moh's house now.

Watching Man Utd bash Inter later, then swimming in the morning.

Anyway, Zoe told me that Weining said that our blogs were too wordy.

Thus I decided to just snap a candid pose of myself to make up for my flooding of words.

Went for project meeting with Val and Stella just now... (sort of...)

Well, I think Just Acia is a good place to dine. The set meals are reasonably cheap, and there's free flow of drinks and ice-cream.

Dhoby Ghaut is really the place to satisfy cravings...

Fried mars bars, crispy chicken, Just Acia, Nihon Mura, Rochor Tau Huay, Selegie Chicken Rice...

(From what I'm blogging about, I believe you can see how much we've done for our project just now... HAHA)

Val seemed like she wanted to kill me when I said I considered taking up a part-time job.

And she is telling the whole world the injustice she feels about my monthly allowance.

WAAAAAHHH now I'm judged for having rich parents lor!

Next time I don't help you pay your dinner first already! HAHA!

KIDDING! But you still owe me $5!

Or or I don't mind a treat from you next time! :DD

Tell you guys something funny.

While falling back onto the bed just now, I knocked the wall with the back of my head.

Damn pain lah! That was like 2 hours ago and it still hurts now.

I think there is a dent at the back of my skull, and I wonder if I got any brain damage.

I shall test myself to see if I've really got an amnesia by describing myself...

My name is Gabriel, I'm a guy and my head hurts.

Okay everything seems fine...

Haha, maybe if I get a bit of brain damage or whatsoever from this, I can get a lower PES for army and sneak out with an 8-5 posting.

Jia Yang's dotA-ing like dog now. So much that he was asked to bathe three times already.

Pig sia he. LOL.

He's using Tinker to own. Like really, I'm watching it now and it's damn gay.

Still having a lot of thoughts while the change is being processed...

Anyway, please answer my question in the previous entry by tagging! Thank you! :D

I will then explain with a super power post.

I still remember the revelation about Gideon.

"Go in this might of yours, have I not sent you?"

Yes God, now I see it in a MUCH clearer picture. LOL.

Oh yes, I say yes. I will go. YES I WILL! :D

Okay I'm thirsty and I need a drink. Bye!

"After all these I've done, why do You still trust me so much?"

"Because you have trusted Me with your whole life, and this is just a little bit..."

Yes, this screwed up life that never made it after Os. Whalamak.

john

2009-02-24T04:04:00.001+08:00

Be objectively subjective, NOT subjectively objective.

Thanks Chek. :)

owned

2009-02-23T17:36:00.004+08:00

I totally owned BTT! HAHAHAA!

(If you thought I just bought that car, I don't know what to say)

Passed my BTT and booked a date to take my FTT (25th March).

So many things happening in March can! Daidee day, FTT, Medical checkup...

Adding to the upcoming church events, it's going to be exciting.

Kia Picanto is so going to be my first car.

Small, simple and sweeeeeeeeeet... How I wish choosing a wife could be this easy.

Okay kidding.

Anyway, thanks to Zoe, now my CG is psycho-ed to play L4D.

The most ironing thing is, even the girls want to play.

Haha, I think it has really helped me overcome my phobia of zombies, but I still find it very disgusting.

Witches, hunters, smokers... Argh kill them all!

We're all going as a CG to play, most likely this Thursday... All are welcomed!

Charleston is so funny.

He called me just now from his office regarding some things, then his encik scold him in the background.

The encik never die before ah! Scold my senior zone leader! HAHA!

LOL.

It's just so amazing that we have leaders at our age going through life the same way we all do.

That's how they can relate to and understand us so much.

I still remember when I was back under Charleston, we used to do a lot of things together. Soccer, basketball, crazy stayovers, getting scolded by Ivan's ah ma...

LOL. Missed those times... and we've grown so much from there.

I look back and I still thank God for Pastors and HOGC having friends like Charleston and Ivan, what more being our role models.

Okay my dad is nagging at me now because he's fetching me to school but still has to fetch my mum from her church.

This means I have to go like NOW! ARGH!

I love my parents. Okay bye.

trust

2009-02-22T00:12:00.007+08:00

"This ministry is grown by LOVE, not people work." - Pastor How

Love is like potential energy. It has to be converted into kinetic energy.

Some types of kinetic energy are affirmative words, quality time, acts of giving and most importantly, trust.

Out of these four, trust is the only thing that you can't fake.

People will never trust you if you will never trust others at all.

But when you do, the feeling is mutual and leveled.

If love grows the ministry, then trust is the most effective fertilizer.

Many times I grew tired serving God, but one thing that motivated me to go on was how much Pastors trusted me.

And if you were actually not that faithful at it, you feel the pinch of guilt from the inside...

Indeed, relationships are built on trust.

No wonder all these years though I didn't spend real quality time with Pastors like this, I could still feel that I am very connected to them.

Trust is earned by how much there is in your character and convictions, not plainly in your performance in ministry.

God trusts us to be His salt and light in the world, to be His testimony.

When we mess it up, does He wipe us out because He has stopped trusting us?

I am convinced that He'd rather be seen in bad light than take away our second chances.

Only when we are trusted, then we can grow faster. Amen?

Jesus trusted His disciples.

I believe that strengthened them to keep following Him despite all odds.

Trust, and you'll be trusted back.

just for soccer fans

2009-02-21T00:30:00.002+08:00

Just for laughs to all soccer fans.

The media once said that "it seems that the only thing Cristiano Ronaldo hasn't won in the last 12 months is the US election."

We can also say....

It seems that the only person who is not on Manchester City's shortlist is President Barack Obama.

Enjoy the laughter. :)

misconception

2009-02-20T12:40:00.001+08:00

I remember Garrett saying this very powerful thing.

A lot of Christians have the mindset that God and church is the same thing.

Many think that the only way to come to God is coming to church.

Many think that what they do in church determines their value in God.

Many think that how well they perform in church determines their growth in God.

I remember saying this line in my previous entry.

Being a Christian is really not about how often you go to church, how many services you go a week, how available you are for your ministries, how big your zone and CG grows or how many friends you bring...

Don't get me wrong, church is important, ministry is important.

It's what you're doing for God. It's the church of God.

It's God's family. And it's God's ministry.

Ultimately, we don't want to hurt God nor hurt pastors. :)

But what is most important ultimately?

Being a good testimony for God.

With that I disagree with doing badly in our studies while we're doing 1001 things in church.

With that I disagree with being disconnected from our families because of church work.

With that I disagree with even neglecting some people IN CHURCH just because you get busier.

As much as I have done all three things, I am totally against it.

Because I know, if your life with God is right, you will never have such problems.

You can be busy doing church things, but not to all these extents.

You can be doing well and growing in your ministry, but neglecting other things in life which are as important.

Often, your busy-ness in church doesn't really reflect your relationship with God.

How high you go in church doesn't really reflect how high you are growing in God.

Yes, rise up as much as you are inspired and convicted to be.

Yes, let's bear the burden of our pastors and leaders...

But take note, even they wouldn't want our lives to fall in this trap...

The key to staying right is just to do what God would want you to do in every situation.

Stay connected.

Guard your heart. :)

dream

2009-02-19T17:03:00.002+08:00

It's about having your own stand, your own convictions.

Just tank only.

sixteen

2009-02-16T05:22:00.003+08:00

Finally broken the 15 barrier! (if it's that important)...

Well I must say, E20 has never been better.

And welcome back Ryan!

Was great to see you again... See you this Tuesday for CG!

Then it's see you again after 2 weeks! Haha! Have a nice trip!

I 4D Nihon Mura with E20. NEXT WEEK! :D

breathe

2009-02-12T05:20:00.006+08:00

I just read someone's blog and found a very meaningful line.

"Does not going all out make you feel that you've no cards in hand?"

Sometimes people confuse unusual acts of faith with unnecessary acts of uncertainty.

Sometimes people are just overdoing things.

Sometimes people are just too uptight.

That's when they throw every good card they have on their hand just to win that turn.

However, they lose the entire game in the end.

Listen, you have a good hand. You always will have and you know why.

It's about showing the right cards at the right turn/time to win the game.

That's the whole point, isn't it? Losing some battles to win the actual war.

Let go and let God.

When we are down to nothing, God is up to something.

God knows the hand you are holding. God knows it's a good hand.

God CHOSE your hand.

Losing a few turns to them wouldn't hurt, because you know you'll still win.

Stubbornly win this round and you throw the whole game.

Allow them to breathe a little, won't you?

Because if you won't, they might never breathe again.

Judgmental christians would probably be stumbled by this entry because I used cards to illustrate christian leadership.

Heck them lah, haha.

laughs

2009-02-11T16:41:00.004+08:00

The CMS February bulletin just arrived!

I just read the jokes column and it's funny as Keegan's fart! (oops did I just said that?)

Here are just some!

Boss: Where were you born?
Sardar: India ..
Boss: which part?
Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India .

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more.

Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Sardar: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

without you

2009-02-11T03:31:00.008+08:00

Without You - Hinder

No I'm not emo. I just saw this video on MTV and I thought it was a nice song.

I especially love the guitar parts! LOL.

The story in the video is also really meaningful and got me thinking...

Was it really worth it all these years looking back, and seeing where I am now?

I still think, yes.

I've never regretted with God, never did and never will.

God has never disappointed me nor let me down in any situation.

All things work out for good to those who love Him.

Haha, I believe I'm not referring to God but to a few people and things.

Am I? Haha I don't know.

Anyway, I'm excited for this weekend!

I heard that many people are coming back, people like Jeannette and Ryan.

E20, keep me updated with good new ok? :D

Whooooooo praise God!

Thursday shopping, anyone? HAHA.

favour?

2009-02-09T05:22:00.000+08:00

Luke 2:52
"And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men."

To think, it's hard to grow in favour with men when you're Jesus.

Imagine yourself going around telling people, "I am the Christ, the Son of the Living God."

More people will give you the fist than the favour.

It's the same when you try to share about God to your friends.

"Jesus? I'm not interested..."

"God speaks to you? I don't know but I think you're weird..."

"If God is real, then why..."

Not easy, huh? Understood.

But don't see evangelism as something weird and irritating.

Christianity is attractive.

Sometimes we find it hard to be a Christian when we're with your friends.

Look to Jesus, He was being God with His, and still the Bible says He had favour with them.

How? His love for people... that when He saw the lost, He was moved with compassion as they were like sheep having no shepherd (Matthew 9:36).

Our relationship with God might appear spooky to some people.

Most people will avoid weird and spooky stuff, and they will prefer to stay logical and real.

But we know God isn't weird, and so aren't we.

The key to still have favour with our families and friends is simply love.

Favour is not an authority. Favour comes only on one condition: When there is love.

You will have favour with anyone if you're willing to love.

Love > Favour > Trust > Relationship

And it's so easy to lose the whole chain when one level isn't present.

Or when we try to rush in without following the order.

Isn't it sad when relationships end like that?

Forget arguments. Forget explaining why God is real even when bla bla bla.

Focus on what everyone needs. LOVE!

Which step are you at now?

Don't break it. Don't rush it.

Or you'll have to start over.

But well, don't give up. :)

proclamation

2009-02-08T02:11:00.003+08:00

People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.

I will always remember this said by Pastor How. :)

simplicity

2009-02-06T02:38:00.002+08:00

And that's what we're all about.

1 Corinthians 1:26-30

God is glorified.

I still know what I am doing.

school

2009-02-03T01:20:00.002+08:00

First day of school was fun! Haha. I love it.

PGSM rocks! It's cool to have church mates as your classmates.

I really enjoyed myself. Can't wait for the next lesson!

During our Entrepreneurship class, we were asked to do a questionnaire before the lecturer went on with her lesson.

It was interesting, but question 7 got me fired up to really give a good answer.

Q: What is the difference between creating something new and solving an existing problem?

I was so moved to answer this and I felt quite good after penning it down.

A: Creating something new just temporarily hides an existing problem with hype and excitement. Solving it not only gets rid of it, but provides a solution that can be used when the same or similar problem happens again.

Take Windows Vista for example. It's full of problems, but Microsoft never solves them. Instead, they keep coming up with new ideas and products, hoping that customers will get their minds off those problems.

As an ex-Windows user, I have been screaming "FIX THEM FOR GOODNESS SAKES!" and I believe I scream on behalf of many Windows users. No wonder I switched to Mac.

Back to topic, I believe next time in my business, I will not make such mistakes when problems arise.

How about in leadership?

When there are problems within your CG or team, how do you solve them?

Do you confront and engage the problem to get rid of it and overcome it?

Or do you push for more new friends to hype your people about the increase in attendance so that they can get their minds of the problems?

If the latter, for how long before the problem surfaces again?

I rather be a problem solver than someone who just brings hype and excitement.

If I say I am a strong leader, I will build a strong CG where no problem persists.

Pastor How says that he rather has a STRONG church than a BIG church.

Of course, we can have both... But we prefer strength.

If I can't have both at the moment, I want to build a STRONG CG.

E20 will be a STRONG CG, amen!?

Many leaders aim to have the fastest growing CG.

I aim to have a CG where we have the least people who backslides.

No one should backslide. Because every problem can be resolved.

I aim in 2009, NO ONE will backslide from E20.

It is so possible.

All things are possible with God.

I guess I'll really be an entrepreneur besides just being a pastor.

I long to be so different. Haha.

crashed

2009-02-01T04:25:00.002+08:00

I was on MSN for about an hour or so chatting with the Yan sisters and Zoe, while playing Pet Society when I just dozed off on my very comfortable pillow. That was at 1am.

Now it's almost half past 4.

Well done Gabriel, so what are you going to do now?

Maybe God was just helping me adjust back my body clock. LOL.

Can't wait for school. Monday! :D

Excitinggggggggggggggggg.

Anyway, loved today. Sermon rocked, and I am clearer of where my red dot is and where I need to go.

Yan Zhen brought Jing Xian today and she's just as crappy as Yan Zhen. Okay let's hope she doesn't read my blog so soon so that she won't see this entry. HAHA.

I'm getting concerned that the girls are increasing in the CG. Are they planning a take over?

*Gasp* NEVERRRR. Miaow Guan, we will fight and bring more guy friends! HAHA!

Sigh... thoughts... thoughts... thoughts...

It's under my control :)

I am God-dependent.

I simply love my CG.

Let me choose between E20 and tickets to Old Trafford, I will still choose E20.

Love you guys loads.

I'm sure I'll miss all of you when my enlistment comes.

light

2009-01-31T03:47:00.004+08:00

I like what Quek said during dinner, that the bad things will be revealed in God's light.

Changeling rocks, definitely better than Punisher (or at least 20 minutes of it).

I hate ceilings. I think I'm growing taller.

Haha, who cares.

anfield

2009-01-29T01:29:00.002+08:00

During CNY I went to my cousins house and there were many fruits and snacks prepared on the coffee table when we reached. So I decided to make myself comfortable and popped two to three grapes into my mouth, but within half a second, I spat them out.

"These grapes have turned sour!" I cried.

My cousin smiled at me and said, "Welcome to Anfield."

The characters in this story is completely fictional so please don't be tricked again like the incident about Quek and I failing our BTT. Of course, the point behind this story is true.

i was right

2009-01-28T06:22:00.004+08:00

I am convinced and convicted of something that I am seriously disappointed with.

God, help me fight. Help me see in Your perspective.

God, is there anyone who has gone before me in this and can guide me?

I'm fine. It's MY fight of faith. :)

Anyway, had a great CNY if not for 2 groups of friends who made it great, so let's keep this blog happy by talking about them!

1) E20

Midnight movie and lepaking with them was awesome. Call us crazy to go all the way to Jurong Point, but we can't bear the thought of two poor girls rotting at home during a happening week of CNY (I wonder who they are...). Guess they are our CG's gem now, anyone dare do anything to them, TAU POK AHHHH... (Doesn't mean skinny cannot protect! If not, we still have Mark and Derry! :D)

E20 is the reason why I love, other than God and other than pastors. Whether in E2 or E7 CEG next time, you guys will never leave my heart. I can't imagine myself leading any other people and not you guys, if I really have to it's going to be hard to let go. Each of you remind me of myself in many areas and situations in the past, and just so many recent incidents make me love you guys even more. You guys are the best thing that happened to me ever since I became your CGL. Keep going, you guys have a great future and destiny in God, in church and every where else in life. Keep going, we will grow SOOOO big, we will start E7, Amen!? No E7 also we will still grow big and breakthrough!

2) Jia Yang, Evi, Keegan, Wendily, Jian Hong, Li Yue

Friends who value people for who they are, friends who are real, honest and trustworthy, friends who love with no strings attached. Truly, relationship is built on trust. Have my word when I say this, that you can trust me. Oh well, those are just words, aren't they? Well, I'm not as cheap as words, count on me. :)

I thank God for Jia Yang especially, who has always been there for me when I needed him. A lot of people say that he influences me a lot, well in terms of lingo you can say that, because I am honestly not very charismatic. But what really makes us good friends is not how much I admire him or vice versa (and he'd probably not agree with the vice versa, haha), instead it's how our thoughts and feelings are very alike in most situations. We probably don't have the same vision or destiny, but we have the same mind and heart as we run this race together. Call us best friends, we really are :)

Well I expected quite a boring CNY, but I'm happy with how it turned out to be.

Thanks guys, all of you.

Thank you God.

deep in thought

2009-01-27T16:07:00.003+08:00

Just had a good talk with my Uncle Eddie...

Ha! I'm referring to him because I found out that some of my relatives do read my blog!

And I believe he'll read this... Thank you Uncle Eddie!

I never realised how my salvation 5 years back could move my family...

From everyone's perspective, it was almost impossible for my parents to ever become Christians, my mum being the strong Buddhist that she was...

And when I became a Christian, slowly she followed, then my dad...

And I believe my entire family were quite shocked for a while... But that was the impact...

How could I miss out the point about showing God's glory to my family the past few years?

All I knew was just going to church, sacrificing this, giving that, that as if I gave it all and now left with nothing in my life...

All I knew was being too reckless and neglecting everything that was NOT about church...

It is about how you walk the walk with God, good enough to just inspire people to follow...

St. Francis of Assisi said, "Preach the gospel always, if necessary use words."

It's not really about your charisma and how much you bug your family and friends to believe Jesus, it's about how you really love them with the love of God, and live with Christ shining in your life by being a great testimony.

I've made many mistakes, fell many times...

But no fall is too great that I cannot get back up from...

JC... Poly... All failed, I still have PGSM...

I'm going to focus and do really well, not let anything else distract me again...

I'm going to be successful, not just in church, but in the world...

Successful enough that all my relatives can see God's glory, not mine...

Successful enough for all my relatives to know that God is real in my life, and He can be in their lives!

Sustainable idealism.

I will be a great pastor and a great businessman.

Till then, Gab, FOCUS. Study. PGSM. Conquer.

Side note, can't wait to drive. I need my license, then I need a car.

Argh......

leader

2009-01-26T18:23:00.004+08:00

1 Samuel 26:1-12

1 Now the Ziphites came to Saul at Gibeah, saying, “Is David not hiding in the hill of Hachilah, opposite Jeshimon?”

2 Then Saul arose and went down to the Wilderness of Ziph, having three thousand chosen men of Israel with him, to seek David in the Wilderness of Ziph.

3 And Saul encamped in the hill of Hachilah, which is opposite Jeshimon, by the road. But David stayed in the wilderness, and he saw that Saul came after him into the wilderness.

4 David therefore sent out spies, and understood that Saul had indeed come.
5 So David arose and came to the place where Saul had encamped. And David saw the place where Saul lay, and Abner the son of Ner, the commander of his army. Now Saul lay within the camp, with the people encamped all around him.

6 Then David answered, and said to Ahimelech the Hittite and to Abishai the son of Zeruiah, brother of Joab, saying, “Who will go down with me to Saul in the camp?”
And Abishai said, “I will go down with you.”
7 So David and Abishai came to the people by night; and there Saul lay sleeping within the camp, with his spear stuck in the ground by his head. And Abner and the people lay all around him.

8 Then Abishai said to David, “God has delivered your enemy into your hand this day. Now therefore, please, let me strike him at once with the spear, right to the earth; and I will not have to strike him a second time!”
9 But David said to Abishai, “Do not destroy him; for who can stretch out his hand against the LORD’s anointed, and be guiltless?”

10 David said furthermore, “As the LORD lives, the LORD shall strike him, or his day shall come to die, or he shall go out to battle and perish.

11 The LORD forbid that I should stretch out my hand against the LORD’s anointed. But please, take now the spear and the jug of water that are by his head, and let us go.”

12 So David took the spear and the jug of water by Saul’s head, and they got away; and no man saw or knew it or awoke. For they were all asleep, because a deep sleep from the LORD had fallen on them.

David did not kill Saul although Saul sought to kill David, because Saul was still David's leader and God's anointed king over Jerusalem...

It is easy to submit to good leadership.

But tell me, how many people can submit to bad leadership like David did?

No wonder God said he was a man after His heart.

Not easy... God, help me to be like David...

Our leaders are not perfect...

I thank God for the leadership over me...

Whether good and bad, I know all things work together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose...

I will still rise like Gideon.

I know what I'm fighting for right now, and I will fight for it.

Let there be justice.

Fight.

Forgive...

gu dong

2009-01-22T04:12:00.002+08:00

An interesting historical artifact found in Wendy Lee's room.

Now, I wonder who that is...

Familiar handwriting though...

fight

2009-01-20T13:56:00.002+08:00

The new year which God said would be mine to fly and breakthrough in didn't begin very smoothly...

Well, maybe that's part of God's plan to grow me and make me stronger, and I just didn't take things very well for a start...

Yes, as much as I don't want it, or feel unprepared for it... I'm 20 this year...

Maybe that's why I'm get really sensitive of the slightest things that happen to me or around me...

Because honestly, I'm really very very confused about what the future holds for me...

Will I get a good 8-5 posting or to go through the toughness for 2 whole years?

Will I be working in church or outside after that? For how long?

How will I get enough income to be able to be an honorary volunteer staff in church?

What will I be doing 3 years from now? 5 years from now? 10 years from now?

Who will I marry? (and NO SUGGESTIONS are welcomed =P)

So many questions, so many thoughts, so many doubts, so many wonders...

So much more so, that I know I need to be God-dependent...

Garrett told us before that real men need to be secure, and he told me that if I feel not-good-enough, instead of retreating, I should make myself become good enough!

I guess that's what I'm going to do...

Even if I'm going to fight for things I never thought I should fight for, I'm going to be bold and go for it...

This is my future, my calling, my dream, my life...

God, if so much so this is Your plan for me, I'm going to press in and overcome every battle and obstacle in the way...

Because I know that every calling and vision has to be tested...

Because I know that if I want it bad enough, I will work for it and fight for it...

Because I know that even if I fail and fall flat on my face again, You are STILL with me...

God, I'm Yours all over again.

Have Your way in me... My desires, my thoughts, my emotions...

My everything...

All of me for all of You...

Liverpool 1 - 1 Everton

2009-01-20T06:02:00.005+08:00

You mean Liverpool didn't reclaim their top spot?

That's great news! They'd probably need to wait till the 2019/20 season. That's another 10 years from now, and marks their 2nd decade without an EPL title.

Well, I won't talk so much about them or I'll dirty my blog. My point is that Manchester United STAYS ON TOP!

And they have one more game with West Brom tomorrow. Come on, look where West Brom is right now? Yes, I know they beat Boro 3-0 the last game, but that doesn't scare us when we beat Chelsea with the exact thrashing scoreline.

My predicition: West Bromwich Albion 0 - 3 Manchester United.

And that brings the Champions 3 points ahead of Liverpool with equal number of games played.

Take that, Benitez.

yes

2009-01-20T00:18:00.003+08:00

In exactly two months time, I'll be knowing my PES for army.

Probably in another 5 months, I'll be taken in.

So I have about 7 months left. And 60 is still on my mind.

Or maybe 70? All I know is, I need more faith...

More faith to see even more things happening...

More faith to bring the CG and each person to their next point in God and in church...

More faith to see dreams and visions coming to past... More faith in 4D-ing...

Well if it's really 70, it means grow by 10 a month.

I really need more faith! Haha...

Independence to God-dependence...

If only it seems as easy as drawing it on paper.

I know where I am, and I know where I need to head to.

What I don't know is, the route I need to take to get there.

Yes God, I have to be dependent on you for this one...

Yes, I am upset, but I am never ever resisting Your plans for me...

I am faithless, but You remain faithful.

role model indeed

2009-01-18T04:13:00.006+08:00

I was about to sleep an hour ago, in fact, I was on my bed already when I felt that I couldn't because of a lot of thoughts running through my mind.

Thus, I woke up and surfed the net a little, do the usual rounds in Facebook, blogs, soccernet like I always do...

Then I realised I just received an email from Anthony... It was sent to Dawn and CCed to me, about his vision of rising up in Projection.

And I'm VERY VERY VERY blown away.

A lot of people just want to be leaders and ICs... Basically do their best and fly high in their CGs and ministries...

Anthony? He wants to rise up, not just to be a leader in Projection, in such a way that he would inspire other people to not see it as a background ministry, but basically a ministry where people would be bred and raised to their significant purposes by serving God there!

Anthony, just turned 15 four days ago, is a Normal Tech student studying in St. Gabriel's Secondary School... I'm not exposing his intellectual standard, I just want to show the world how greatness doesn't come with how high you fly in performance, brains or skills, but about who you truly are to the core...

This is why I love E20...

This is why Anthony is in E20 despite being a generation behind...

Ironic as it sounds, I am so so so encouraged by all the people I'm leading...

First, Kenneth doing well in Photog...

Next, Yan Rui getting planted and evangelizing...

Then, Miaow Guan coming on staff...

Now, Anto's vision in Projection...

So amazing Anto, some more no mention about his vision of being a worship leader or guitarist... Shows where his heart is, in people... Inspiring people to rise up...

This church is not purpose driven...

It is purpose directed, but LOVE driven... Love for people, for others...

More than a vision, Anto has caught the heart.

Anto, you the REAL man.

Go for it. It will surely come!

Oh my, now I can sleep so much more in peace. :D

connection

2009-01-18T02:42:00.004+08:00

I no longer doubt my thought patterns in this area.

I am flowing. I am just coming across people who DON'T.

Well, correct me if I'm wrong, before I start to get convicted about this.

Don't know, don't talk. Pharisees.

war

2009-01-16T11:33:00.002+08:00

Satan, you will never win.

faith

2009-01-16T02:14:00.001+08:00

This is 4D.

E7 + E70 + E71 = 60!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I BELIEVE! :DDD

Now, E20 for 20 first lahhh, and 15 this weekend. :)

assurance?

2009-01-15T15:26:00.006+08:00

How can I give what I don't receive?

I guess that's why I doubted and hesitated so much.

Forget it. Drive.

best

2009-01-14T12:43:00.006+08:00

Torres: United "clear favourites" for title

Fernando Torres has admitted Manchester United are now "clear favourites" to retain their Premier League crown following their demolition of Chelsea and Liverpool's stalemate at Stoke City.

Speaking after being voted into third place behind Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi in FIFA's World Player of the Year poll, the 24-year-old insisted Liverpool still have a great chance to win the title for the first time since 1990 despite handing an advantage to United in poll position.

The Old Trafford club will go to the top of the table for the first time this season if they win at home to Wigan Athletic on Wednesday night and also beat West Bromwich Albion at the weekend.

Liverpool can wait another 2 decades, by then I'll be telling my children how great Man Utd was at my time.

let's believe

2009-01-13T02:25:00.006+08:00

Chinese songs aren't my thing, but this one rocks.

Named my secular song of the season.

I dedicate this song to all those who got back their O Level results yesterday.

Good or bad, believe. :)

Play and enjoy.

我相信

Verse:

想飞上天
xiang fei shang tian

和太阳肩并肩
he tai yang jian bing jian

世界等著我去改变
shi jie deng zhu wo qu gai bian

想做的梦
xiang zuo de meng

从不怕别人看见
cong bu pa bie ren kan jian

在这里我都能实现
zai zhe li wo dou neng shi xian

大声欢笑让你我肩并肩
da sheng huan xiao rang ni wo jian bing jian

何处不能欢乐无限
he chu bu neng huan le wu xian

抛开烦恼
pao kai fan nao

勇敢的大步向前
yong gan de da bu xiang qian

我就站在舞台中间
wo jiu zhan zai wu tai zhong jian

Chorus:

我相信我就是我
wo xiang xin wo jiu shi wo

我相信明天
wo xiang xin ming tian

我相信青春没有地平线
wo xiang xin qing chun mei you di ping xian

在日落的海边
zai ri luo de hai bian

在热闹的大街
zai re nao de da jie

都是我心中最美的乐园
dou shi wo xin zhong zui mei de le yuan

我相信自由自在
wo xiang xin zi you zi zai

我相信希望
wo xiang xin xi wang

我相信伸手就能碰到天
wo xiang xin shen shou jiu neng peng dao tian

有你在我身边
you ni zai wo shen bian

让生活更新鲜
rang sheng huo geng xin xian

每一刻都精采万分
mei yi ke dou jing cai wan fen

I do believe